雙語閱讀：爲什麼你應主動交代你的前任

以下是小編整理的英語文章： 爲什麼你應主動交代你的前任，希望能對大家的英語學習有幫助。

The last thing you want to hear out of a partner's mouth is the name of his or her ex -- but talking about an ex doesn't always signal romantic doom. In fact, it can help build a solid foundation for your current relationship.

從你的戀人口中，你最不想聽到的就是前任的名字——可是，談論前任並非總意味着你和他的戀情快要終結，相反，這能爲你當下的戀情奠定堅實的基礎。

Experts say the individual growth that leads to healthy, stable relationships begins with heartbreaks, and one of the best ways to turn past disappointments into future relationship successes is to share these experiences with your new partner.

專家告訴我們，一段良好的、穩固的戀情來自心痛和心痛後的個人成長。對你現在的戀人坦白那些心痛經歷是從過去的痛苦中解脫，邁入新的成功戀情的最好的方式之一。

But how should you broach the subject? If you've kept in touch with your former flames on social media platforms such as Facebook, you've got an easy in, said Dr. Linda Young, a psychologist .

你要怎麼開口談論這個話題呢?心理學家，琳達·楊說，如果你與你的前任在臉書網這樣的社交網絡平臺上還有聯繫，你就可以順利的引入這一話題。

But dredging up stories of past flames can be treacherous, and it's worth taking the time to think about how to do it right. Here are five things to know before talking about an ex with your partner.

但是重提舊事，談論你的前任可能有點背叛現任的味道，所以，花點時間想想如何正確處理此事將很有必要。在你向戀人談論你的前任之前，要先了解如下五件事情。

lling past relationship mistakes makes you less inclined to repeat them.

反思自己在舊的戀情中曾犯過的錯誤能讓你避免重蹈覆轍。

When you've been dumped, areas of the brain associated with addiction as well as physical pain light up, said Helen Fisher, chief scientific adviser to and a senior research fellow at The Kinsey Institute. Human brains have evolved to "attach" to other people after forming romantic bonds. When a relationship ends and that attachment severs, there's a huge emotional and physiological hit. After that, brain regions associated with processing what happened fire up.

的首席科學顧問，金賽研究所的高級研究員海倫·菲舍說，當對方提出分手的時候，你的大腦中那些與依戀感和心理疼痛感相關的區域都會趨於興奮。在你和他人建立戀愛關係的時候，大腦會衍生出一種對對方的“依戀”感。當戀情告終，這種依戀關係斷裂的時候，你就會感到巨大的情感和心理打擊。在這之後，大腦中相應的應對區域就會興奮起來。

ing about past relationships can give your partner insight into who you are.

談論過去的戀情能讓你的戀人深入地瞭解你。

Aside from the evolutionary benefits, talking about your exes can help you communicate to your new partner how you grew into the person you are today. Often, romantic relationships serve as learning experiences that let you test the boundaries of your interests and needs. Reflecting on a past relationship can even help you find out something about yourself that you may have missed during the relationship and breakup.

除了腦部機制這方面的好處之外，談論你的前任還有助於讓你的新伴侶瞭解你是如何成長爲現在的你的。戀愛關係往往能成爲你瞭解自身的契機，讓你更好的看清自己的愛好和需求所在。反思過去的戀情能有助於你更好地瞭解自己，瞭解你在那段戀情中所缺失的是什麼，而這種缺失的東西正是你們分手的原因。

it comes to talking about an ex, timing is everything.

當你準備談論前任的時候，選好時機是最關鍵的。

The beginning of a new relationship may not be the best time to drop the ex bomb. Fisher explained that there's no hard and fast rule when it comes to timing, but you probably want to give a relationship time to develop before adding in any emotional third parties -- i.e., avoid talk of your ex on the first date.

剛開始一段新戀情的時候或許不是談論前任這樣嚴肅話題的最佳時機。菲舍解釋說，至於何時爲最佳時機，沒有固定不變的準則，不過，或許你會想先給當下的感情一點時間發展壯大，然後再涉及到感情上的第三個人——也就是說，在初次約會的時候要避免提到你的前任。

mber that perception may not match reality.

記住，現實的纔是最好的。

When Fisher polled a representative sample of 5,000 Americans for recently, she asked people how long it takes them to get over an ex and found the average answer was about three months.

菲舍最近在網站上對5000名美國人做了一個抽樣調查，她問這5000人，他們要花多長時間才能忘掉前任，最普遍的答案是三個月。

"But you know what? It's one of the few things I didn’t believe," she said. "I actually don't believe that. I've seen people take 10 years."

“但是你知道嗎，這是世上我絕不相信的事情之一。”她說：“我當真不能相信。我見過有人花十年才能忘掉前任的。”

However long it may take you to get over an ex, how you talk about that person when you're in a new relationship can reveal a great deal. If you're still grieving over an ex, that can create a barrier between you and your current partner and signify that you're not "over it."

無論你要花多長時間才能忘掉你的前任，當你開始新的戀情時，你向對方談論前任的方式都會表現出來你對前任的態度。如果你仍在懷念前任，就會在你和現任的戀人之間設立一個障礙，告訴對方你的上一段戀情還沒有“了結”。

You can still have fond memories of your exes and bring them up occasionally, but be wary of spending too much time dwelling on the past.

你可以對前任仍然懷有美好的回憶，也可以想起他們，但是如果你花了太多時間回憶過去，這就要引起警戒了。

that the reason you're talking about your ex is to move forward, not backward.

要明白，你談論前任的原因是你要向前走，而不是向後退。

Once you've shared the lessons of past relationships with your partner, it's best to continue to get to know him or her, form a new bond and create new memories -- don't let your current relationship stagnate. There's always more to learn about the relationship at hand, so you'll need to give it as much attention as possible.

當你和戀人分享了關於上一段戀情的教訓之後，最好是進而去了解對方，然後雙方建立新的情感聯繫，創立新的記憶——不要讓你當下的戀情擱淺。對當下的戀情，你永遠應該更多地瞭解它，應該給予它儘可能多的關注。