狄更斯雙語小說:《董貝父子》第20章Part 09

Louder and louder yet, it shrieks and cries as it comes tearing on resistless to the goal: and now its way, still like the way of death, is strewn with ashes thickly. Everything around is blackened. There are dark pools of water, muddy lanes, and miserable habitations far below. There are jagged walls and falling houses close at hand, and through the battered roofs and broken windows, wretched rooms are seen, where 'want and fever hide themselves in many wretched shapes, while smoke and crowded gables, and distorted chimneys, and deformity of brick and mortar penning up deformity of mind and body, choke the murky distance. As Mr Dombey looks out of his carriage window, it is never in his thoughts that the monster who has brought him there has let the light of day in on these things: not made or caused them. It was the journey's fitting end, and might have been the end of everything; it was so ruinous and dreary.'
So, pursuing the one course of thought, he had the one relentless monster still before him. All things looked black, and cold, and deadly upon him, and he on them. He found a likeness to his misfortune everywhere. There was a remorseless triumph going on about him, and it galled and stung him in his pride and jealousy, whatever form it took: though most of all when it divided with him the love and memory of his lost boy.
There was a face - he had looked upon it, on the previous night, and it on him with eyes that read his soul, though they were dim with tears, and hidden soon behind two quivering hands - that often had attended him in fancy, on this ride. He had seen it, with the expression of last night, timidly pleading to him. It was not reproachful, but there was something of doubt, almost of hopeful incredulity in it, which, as he once more saw that fade away into a desolate certainty of his dislike, was like reproach. It was a trouble to him to think of this face of Florence.
Because he felt any new compunction towards it? No. Because the feeling it awakened in him - of which he had had some old foreshadowing in older times - was full-formed now, and spoke out plainly, moving him too much, and threatening to grow too strong for his composure. Because the face was abroad, in the expression of defeat and persecution that seemed to encircle him like the air. Because it barbed the arrow of that cruel and remorseless enemy on which his thoughts so ran, and put into its grasp a double-handed sword. Because he knew full well, in his own breast, as he stood there, tinging the scene of transition before him with the morbid colours of his own mind, and making it a ruin and a picture of decay, instead of hopeful change, and promise of better things, that life had quite as much to do with his complainings as death. One child was gone, and one child left. Why was the object of his hope removed instead of her?
The sweet, calm, gentle presence in his fancy, moved him to no reflection but that. She had been unwelcome to him from the first; she was an aggravation of his bitterness now. If his son had been his only child, and the same blow had fallen on him, it would have been heavy to bear; but infinitely lighter than now, when it might have fallen on her (whom he could have lost, or he believed it, without a pang), and had not. Her loving and innocent face rising before him, had no softening or winning influence. He rejected the angel, and took up with the tormenting spirit crouching in his bosom. Her patience, goodness, youth, devotion, love, were as so many atoms in the ashes upon which he set his heel. He saw her image in the blight and blackness all around him, not irradiating but deepening the gloom. More than once upon this journey, and now again as he stood pondering at this journey's end, tracing figures in the dust with his stick, the thought came into his mind, what was there he could interpose between himself and it?
The Major, who had been blowing and panting all the way down, like another engine, and whose eye had often wandered from his newspaper to leer at the prospect, as if there were a procession of discomfited Miss Toxes pouring out in the smoke of the train, and flying away over the fields to hide themselves in any place of refuge, aroused his friends by informing him that the post-horses were harnessed and the carriage ready.
'Dombey,' said the Major, rapping him on the arm with his cane, 'don't be thoughtful. It's a bad habit, Old Joe, Sir, wouldn't be as tough as you see him, if he had ever encouraged it. You are too great a man, Dombey, to be thoughtful. In your position, Sir, you're far above that kind of thing.'
The Major even in his friendly remonstrrnces, thus consulting the dignity and honour of Mr Dombey, and showing a lively sense of their importance, Mr Dombey felt more than ever disposed to defer to a gentleman possessing so much good sense and such a well-regulated mind; acoordingly he made an effort to listen to the Major's stories, as they trotted along the turnpike road; and the Major, finding both the pace and the road a great deal better adapted to his conversational powers than the mode of travelling they had just relinquished, came out of his entertainment,
But still the Major, blunt and tough as he was, and as he so very often said he was, administered some palatable catering to his companion's appetite. He related, or rather suffered it to escape him, accidentally, and as one might say, grudgingly and against his will, how there was great curiosity and excitement at the club, in regard of his friend Dombey. How he was suffocated with questions, Sir. How old Joe Bagstock was a greater man than ever, there, on the strength of Dombey. How they said, 'Bagstock, your friend Dombey now, what is the view he takes of such and such a question? Though, by the Rood, Sir,' said the Major, with a broad stare, 'how they discovered that J. B. ever came to know you, is a mystery!'
In this flow of spirits and conversation, only interrupted by his usual plethoric symptoms, and by intervals of lunch, and from time to time by some violent assault upon the Native, who wore a pair of ear-rings in his dark-brown ears, and on whom his European clothes sat with an outlandish impossibility of adjustment - being, of their own accord, and without any reference to the tailor's art, long where they ought to be short, short where they ought to be long, tight where they ought to be loose, and loose where they ought to be tight - and to which he imparted a new grace, whenever the Major attacked him, by shrinking into them like a shrivelled nut, or a cold monkey - in this flow of spirits and conversation, the Major continued all day: so that when evening came on, and found them trotting through the green and leafy road near Leamington, the Major's voice, what with talking and eating and chuckling and choking, appeared to be in the box under the rumble, or in some neighbouring hay-stack. Nor did the Major improve it at the Royal Hotel, where rooms and dinner had been ordered, and where he so oppressed his organs of speech by eating and drinking, that when he retired to bed he had no voice at all, except to cough with, and could only make himself intelligible to the dark servant by gasping at him.
He not only rose next morning, however, like a giant refreshed, but conducted himself, at breakfast like a giant refreshing. At this meal they arranged their daily habits. The Major was to take the responsibility of ordering evrything to eat and drink; and they were to have a late breakfast together every morning, and a late dinner together every day. Mr Dombey would prefer remaining in his own room, or walking in the country by himself, on that first day of their sojourn at Leamington; but next morning he would be happy to accompany the Major to the Pump-room, and about the town. So they parted until dinner-time. Mr Dombey retired to nurse his wholesome thoughts in his own way. The Major, attended by the Native carrying a camp-stool, a great-coat, and an umbrella, swaggered up and down through all the public places: looking into subscription books to find out who was there, looking up old ladies by whom he was much admired, reporting J. B. tougher than ever, and puffing his rich friend Dombey wherever he went. There never was a man who stood by a friend more staunchly than the Major, when in puffing him, he puffed was surprising how much new conversation the Major had to let off at dinner-time, and what occasion he gave Mr Dombey to admire his social qualities. At breakfast next morning, he knew the contents of the latest newspapers received; and mentioned several subjects in connexion with them, on which his opinion had recently been sought by persons of such power and might, that they were only to be obscurely hinted at. Mr Dombey, who had been so long shut up within himself, and who had rarely, at any time, overstepped the enchanted circle within which the operations of Dombey and Son were conducted, began to think this an improvement on his solitary life; and in place of excusing himself for another day, as he had thought of doing when alone, walked out with the Major arm-in-arm.

當它急急匆匆、不可抗拒地向著目標賓士的時候，它尖叫、呼吼得更響更響了；這時它的道路又像死亡的道路一樣，厚厚地鋪蓋著灰燼。周圍的一切都變得黑暗了。在很下面的地方是黑暗的水池，泥濘的衚衕，簡陋的住宅。附近有斷垣殘壁和坍塌的房屋，通過露出窟窿的屋頂和破損的窗子可以看到可憐的房間，房間中顯露出貧困與熱病的各種慘狀；煙塵、堆積的山牆、變形的煙囪、殘破的磚頭和廢棄的灰漿，把畸形的身心關在裡面，並且堵擋住陰暗的遠方。當董貝先生從車廂窗戶望出去時，他沒有想到，把他運載到這裡來的怪物只不過是讓白天的亮光照射到這些景物上面，它沒有製造它們，也不是它們發生的原因。這是恰當的旅程終點，也可能是一切事物的終點——它是多麼破落與淒涼。
因此，當他沿著那條思路 想下去的時候，那個殘酷無情的怪物仍然出現在他眼前。一切事物都暗淡地、冷酷地、死氣沉沉地看著他，他也同樣地看著它們，他到處都看到與他的不幸相似的地方。周圍的一切事物都毫無憐憫心地慶賀著對他的勝利，不論這種慶賀採取什麼形式，它都傷害與刺痛了他的高傲與妒嫉心；特別是當它與他分享他對那死去的孩子的熱愛或參與他對他的回憶的時候，他的痛苦就格外強烈。
在這一次旅行中有一張臉孔經常出現在他的浮思漫想之中；前一天夜間他曾看見它，它也看見他，它上面的兩隻眼睛雖然被淚水弄模糊了，而且立即被兩隻發抖的手捂住了，但是卻覺察到了他的靈魂。他在旅程中看到它就跟昨天夜間的表情一樣，膽怯地向他懇求。它並不是責備的表情，但其中卻有某些疑問，幾乎可以說是幾分縹緲不定的希望；當他再去看它的時候，這縹緲不定的希望消失了，變為悲傷絕望的確信（確信他不喜歡她），所以它又有些像責備。當想到弗洛倫斯的這張臉的時候，他感到煩惱。
是不是因為他看到這張臉感覺到什麼新的內疚呢？不是，而是因為這張臉在他內心所喚醒的、他先前曾經模糊產生的感覺，現在已充分形成，清楚地表達出來，使他十分心煩意亂，它眼看著就要變得十分強烈，使他無法安寧；是因為這張臉把他遭到的挫折和受到的殘害體現出來，它無處不在，似乎像空氣一樣包圍著他；是因為這張臉給他正在想著的殘酷無情的敵人的箭裝上倒鉤，把一把兩刃的利劍交到敵人手中；是因為他站在那裡，給眼前不斷變化的景物塗上一層與他自己思想一樣病態的顏色，使它成為一幅崩潰與衰敗的圖景，而不是使它充滿了美好的希望，預示著似錦的前程；這時候他心中十分清楚：生命跟死亡一樣能引起他的哀怨。一個孩子逝世了，一個孩子活下來。為什麼是他希望所寄託的物件被奪 走了，而不是她？
在他的浮思漫想中出現的那張可愛的、平靜的、溫柔的臉沒有使他產生任何其他想法。從一開始，她就是不受他歡迎的，現在她加劇了他的痛苦。如果他的兒子是他唯一的孩子，而且遭受到同樣的打擊，雖然這打擊也十分沉重，難以忍受，但比起現在，當這打擊有可能落在她身上但實際卻沒有落在她身上的時候，那種打擊是無比地輕多了，因為她是他可以或者他相信他可以不感到痛苦地失去的。浮現在他面前的那張天真爛漫的臉並沒有使他的心腸變軟，並沒有使他回心轉意，對她喜歡起來。他拒絕了天使，但卻接受了潛伏在他胸中、痛苦折磨著他的惡魔。她的耐性、善良、年輕、忠誠、熱愛，就像他踐踏在腳下的灰燼中的許多細塵。他在他周圍一片陰影與黑暗中看到她的形象不是照亮了而是加深了陰暗。他怎麼能和她的這個形象一刀兩斷，永遠隔絕呢？在這次旅行中，這個想法在他心中已經出現不止一次了，現在在旅程的終點，當他站在那裡用手杖在灰塵中畫著圖形的時候，它又在他心中冒出來了。
少校像另一臺機車一樣，一路上一直在噴氣和喘氣；他的眼睛經常離開報紙，斜眼看著遠景，彷彿被打得落花流水的托克斯小姐們正一個個排著隊從火車的煙囪中噴出來，飛越田野，躲藏在什麼隱蔽安全的地方似的；這時他把他的朋友從沉思中喚醒，告訴他，驛馬已經套上馬具，馬車已經準備好了。
“董貝，”少校用手杖捅了捅他的胳膊，說道，“別愛沉思。這是個壞習慣。如果老喬也養成這樣的習慣，先生，那麼他就不會像您現在看到的這樣堅強不屈了。您是個偉大的人物，董貝，不能這麼喜愛沉思。處在您這樣的地位，大可不必 把精力耗在那種事情上面。”
少校甚至在他友好的勸告中也考慮到董貝先生的尊嚴和榮譽，表示十分明白它們的重要性，所以董貝先生對一個見解這樣正確、頭腦這樣清醒的上層社會人士的意見就比平時更愛 聽從了。因此，當他們沿著徵收通行稅的道路急匆匆地行進的時候，他作出努力來聽少校講趣聞軼事；少校呢，覺得不論是速度還是道路都比他們剛才結束的旅行方式更適應他的談話能力，所以就講一些話來使他開心消遣。
少校一直興致勃勃、滔滔不絕地談著話，只有他一向就有的多血癥症狀發作的時候，吃午飯的時候和他不時憤怒毆打本地人的時候，才 把談話打斷。本地人在深褐色的耳朵上佩帶了一對耳環，身上穿了一套歐洲服裝；這套服裝對他這個歐洲人是很不相配的，這倒並不是由於裁縫師傅的手藝不好，而是由於衣服本身不合身，該短的地方長，該長的地方短，該鬆的地方緊，該緊的地方鬆；他還給這套服裝增添了一個優點，每當少校向他進攻的時候，他就像一個乾透了的硬殼果或挨凍的猴子那樣，往衣服裡面縮了進去。少校就這樣整天興致勃勃、滔滔不絕地談著話，因此，當晚上來臨，他們在靠近萊明頓的樹木蔥蘢的道路上匆匆行進的時候，少校由於談話，吃東西，吃吃地笑和喘氣的結果，他的聲音彷彿是從馬車後座下面的箱子中或從附近某個乾草堆裡發出來似的。他們在皇家旅館預定了房間和晚飯，少校到旅館後聲音不見好轉，而且由於他在這裡用飲食來狠狠地壓迫 說話器官，所以到了睡覺的時候，他除了咳嗽之外，就一點聲音也沒有了，只能向膚色黝黑的僕人張嘴喘氣來傳達他的思想。
可是第二天早上，他不但像一個精神恢復過 來的巨人一樣起床，而且在吃早飯的時候，還像一個精神振作的巨人一樣吃喝。他們在這餐早飯中間商討了每天的作息安排；少校負責吩咐飲食方面的一切事情；他們每天早上在一起吃晚開的早飯，每天在一起吃晚開的晚飯。他們在萊明頓逗留的第一天，董貝先生寧願待在自己房間裡或獨自在鄉間散步；但是第二天上午他將高興陪同少校去礦泉飲水處遊覽，併到城裡逛逛。這樣他們就分開了，一直到吃晚飯。董貝先生按照自己的方式獨自進行有益的沉思。少校則在拿著折凳、厚大衣和雨傘的本地人的侍候下，大搖大擺地在所有的公共場所走來走去；他查閱簽名冊，看有誰到那裡去了；他拜訪那些他很受讚許的老女士們，告訴她們喬•白比過去更堅強不屈了；不管到那裡他都吹噓他的闊綽的朋友董貝。世界上沒有任何人能像少校那樣熱忱地幫助朋友；當吹噓董貝先生的時候，他也就吹噓了自己。
吃晚飯的時候，少校說出了那麼許許多多新內容的話，並使董貝先生有那麼充分的理由來佩服他的交際能力，這真是不可思議的。第二天吃早飯的時候，他已經知道最新收到的報紙的內容，並談到了與這些內容有關的一些問題；他對這些問題的意見最近受到一些人士的重視，這些人士十分有權有勢，只須含糊地暗示一下就夠了。董貝先生閉門獨居已經很長久了，過去也很少走出董貝父子公司業務經營的迷人的圈子之外，所以他現在開始覺得這次旅行對他的孤獨生活將會有所改進；因此，他放棄了他單獨一人時原打算獨自再待上一天的想法，跟少校手挽著手地出去了。