英文小笑話
幽默笑話一向為人所欣賞,是廣大羣眾所喜歡的精神食糧。優秀的幽默作品不僅逗人發笑,還豐富人們的想象,活躍思維,啟迪智慧,培育幽默感。下面是本站小編帶來的經典英語小笑話，歡迎閲讀!
Who do you think you are? 你以為你是誰?
The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let himaboard.
It is too crowded, they shouted. who do you think you are?
I am the driver. he said.
公共汽車上很擠，當又一個人還是試圖上車時，乘客們不讓他上。
車上太擠了，他們喊道，你以為你是誰?
我是司機!他説。
經典英語小笑話篇二It's not that 不是那樣的
A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.
B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.
A: No, it wasn't raining.
A：我看見7個女孩共撐一把傘卻沒有一個被淋濕。
B：啊?那一定是把很大的傘吧!
A：不是，當時並沒有下雨。
經典英語小笑話篇三Asking for a Raise 要求加薪
At the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn't bother people in the outer office.
After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans,maniacal(瘋狂的) screams, hysterical(歇斯底里的) laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the manager's secretary, she looked up and inquired, Asking for a raise again?
我在一家電台工作。經理把我叫進他的辦公室，讓我預試一下我們準備購買的一套新的音響效果設備。他關上門，以免打擾外面辦公室的人。
聽了幾個常規的音響效果後，我們開始試聽低聲的呻吟，狂亂的尖叫，歇斯底里的大笑，哀求聲和槍聲。最後我開門出去，從經理祕書旁邊經過時，她抬起頭問道：又要求加薪了?
經典英語小笑話篇四I know I could count on you 我知道你會幫我
Smith goes to see his boss in the front office. "Boss," he says: "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic(閣樓) and the garage."
"We're short-handed, Smith." the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I know I could count on you!"
史密斯去找他的老闆。“老闆，我們家明天有很重的工作要做，我妻子讓我修閣樓和車庫。”
“可我們很缺人，史密斯。”老闆答道，“我不可能放你的假。”
“謝謝，老闆。”史密斯説，“我就知道你會幫我。”
經典英語小笑話篇五Grandpa will pay the bill 爺爺給我付賬
Walking up to a department store's fabric(織物，布) counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk(假笑，傻笑) . "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly(故意使人煩惱地) held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer(老傢伙) standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
一個漂亮的女孩走到百貨公司的布料櫃枱，説：“我想要買這種料子來做一條新裙子，多少錢?”
“每碼只需要一個吻。”男售貨員説着，帶着奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩説，“我要十碼。”
帶着期待的表情，售貨員很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一臉奸笑地送了過來。
女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑着指向了一個站在她身邊的老頭：“爺爺給我付賬。”
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