經典科幻文學:《宇宙盡頭的餐館》第17章5

“And now, ladies and gentlemen,” he beamed, “is everyone having one last wonderful time?”
“Yes,” called out the sort of people who call out “yes” when comedians ask them if they’re having a wonderful time.
“That’s wonderful,” enthused Max, “absolutely wonderful. And as the photon storms gather in swirling crowds around us, preparing to tear apart the last of the red hot suns, I know you’re all going to settle back and enjoy with me what I know we will find all an immensely exciting and terminal experience.”
He paused. He caught the audience with a glittering eye.
“Believe me, ladies and gentlemen,” he said, “there’s nothing penultimate about this one.”
He paused again. Tonight his timing was immaculate. Time after time he had done this show, night after night. Not that the word night had any meaning here at the extremity of time. All there was was the endless repetition of the final moment, as the Restaurant rocked slowly forward over the brink of time’s furthest edge and back again. This “night” was good though, the audience was writhing in the palm of his sickly hand. His voice dropped. They had to strain to hear him.
“This,” he said, “really is the absolute end, the final chilling desolation, in which the whole majestic sweep of creation becomes extinct. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the proverbial ‘it’.”
He dropped his voice still lower. In the stillness, a fly would not have dared cleat its throat.
“After this,” he said, “there is nothing. Void. Emptiness. Oblivion. Absolute nothing…”
His eyes glittered again or did they twinkle?”
“Nothing… except of course for the sweet trolley, and a fine selection of Aldebaran liqueurs!”
The band gave him a musical sting. He wished they wouldn’t, he didn’t need it, not an artist of his calibre. He could play the audience like his own musical instrument. They were laughing with relief. He followed on.
“And for once,” he cried cheerily, “you don’t need to worry about having a hangover in the morning because there won’t be any more mornings!”
He beamed at his happy, laughing audience. He glanced up at the sky, going through the same dead routine every night, but his glance was only for a fraction of a second. He trusted it to do its job, as one professional trusts another.
“And now,” he said, strutting about the stage, “at the risk of putting a damper on the wonderful sense of doom and futility here this evening, I would like to welcome a few parties.”
He pulled a card from his pocket.

“現在，女士們、先生們，”他微笑着説，“你們所有人部在享受這美妙的最後一刻嗎？”
“是的，”那些每當滑稽演員問他們是否在享受美妙時光時都會喊出“是的”的人喊道。
“太好了，”馬克斯熱情洋溢地説，“真是太好了。光了風暴正在我們四周聚合成渦流，準備將最後的那些紅色熾熱恆星撕個粉碎：我知道，你們大家都會作好準備，和我一起，分享這次必然會讓我們大家感到無比興奮的終極體驗。”
他停頓了一下，目光閃爍地看着觀眾。
“相信我！女士們、先生們，”他説，“沒有任何事情能讓這一刻排在倒數第二，這就是終極。”
他又停頓了一下。今晚，他的時間把握得堪稱完美。他曾經一次又一次地主持這個表演，一晚又一晚，當然，“夜晚”這個詞在這裏－－在時間的末端並沒有什麼意義。這裏有的只是最後時刻的尤盡循環。這家餐館緩慢地向前擺動，越過時間的最遠邊界的邊緣——然後再擺回來。儘管如此，今天這個“夜晚”還是不錯的，觀眾們完全被操控在他那憔悴的手掌中。他的聲音低了下來他們必須繃緊神經才能聽清楚：
“這－－”他説，“真的是絕對的終極，是終點的寒冷和荒蕪在這裏，天地萬物的宏偉的綿延傳承滅絕了。這，女士們、先生們，就是眾所周知的‘那一刻’！”
他把聲音壓樽更低了，在這樣的寂靜中，連蒼蠅都不敢清嗓子，
“在這以後，”他説，“就是一無所有空白。虛空，湮沒，絕對的一無所有！”
他的眼睛又閃了閃——或者，是眨了眨？
“一無所有！當然，除了餐後甜點和精選的畢宿五（金牛座q星）利口酒！”
樂隊用音樂聲附和他，他卻並不希望他們這麼做一他不需要這些，沒有哪個藝術家有他這樣的爿能他能把觀眾玩弄於股掌之問，就像演奏自己的樂器一般：他們如釋重負地大笑着，他則繼續説下去。
“惟一的一次，”他愉快地叫道，“你們不必擔心明天}i醉醒來後的不適，因為——不會再有什麼明天了！”
他衝台下開懷大笑的觀眾們微笑着。他抬頭看了看天宅，進行着每晚該死的慣例：這一僅僅持續了一秒鐘，他信任自己的這一眼眼，就像一個專業人士信任另外一個。
“現在，”他在舞台上昂首闊步，“本着破壞今晚這種末日臨近、百無聊賴的美妙感覺的危險，我想向幾個團體致以歡迎之意。”
他從衣兜裏掏出一張卡片。