經典科幻文學:《 基本上無害 Mostly Harmless》 第3章3

Tricia began to feel that the world was conspiring against her. She knew that this was a perfectly normal way to feel after an overnight flight going east, when you suddenly have a whole other mysteriously threatening day to deal with for which you are not the least bit prepared. But still.

崔茜卡開始覺得全世界都在合夥跟自己作對。她知道這種感覺其實很正常，畢竟她剛剛才往東邊飛了一個通宵，突然之間兜裏就神神祕祕地多了整整一個白天咄咄逼人地殺你個措手不及。可知道歸知道，唉。

There were marks on her lawn.

她的草坪上有印子。

She didn't really care about marks on her lawn very much. Marks on her lawn could go and take a running jump as far as she was concerned. It was Saturday morning. She had just got home from New York feeling tired, crabby and paranoid, and all she wanted to do was go to bed with the radio on quietly and gradually fall asleep to the sound of Ned Sherrin being terribly clever about something.

她其實不怎麼介意草坪上有印子。草坪上的印子大可以愛幹嘛幹嘛去，她才不在乎，活像個偏執狂。她只想躺在牀上，把收音機音量調低，然後一邊聽着內德.謝林説些機靈的俏皮話，一邊慢慢睡死過去。

But Eric Bartlett was not going to let her get away with not making a thorough inspection of the marks. Eric was the old gardener who came in from the village on Saturday mornings to poke around at her garden with a stick. He didn't believe in people coming in from New York first thing in the morning. Didn't hold with it. Went against nature. He believed in virtually everything else, though.

可埃裏克巴特.利特並不準備讓她矇混過關，他非要先徹徹底底地檢查那些印子。埃裏克是鎮上的老花匠，每個星期六早上都來她的花園，拿根棍子東戳西戳。他不相信一大早從紐約來的人，有些反感他們，覺得這些人有違自然規律。不過除此之外的一切他基本上都相信。

'Probably them space aliens,' he said, bending over and prodding at the edges of the small indentations with his stick. 'Hear a lot about space aliens these days. I expect it's them.'

“多半是那些個外星人。”他彎下腰，拿棍子戳戳鋸齒狀的凹痕邊緣，“最近老聽説外星人的事兒。我猜就是他們。”

'Do you?' said Tricia, looking furtively at her watch. Ten minutes, she reckoned. Ten minutes she'd be able to stay standing up. Then she would simply keel over, whether she was in her bedroom or still out here in the garden. That was if she just had to stand. If she also had to nod intelligently and say 'Do you?' from time to time, it might cut it down to five.

“當真？”崔茜卡偷偷瞄了眼手錶。十分鐘，她估計。她還能站上個十分鐘，然後她就只好跪下來，無論是在自己的卧室裏還是在花園裏。這還是假定她只需要站着不動。如果再要求她不時一臉機智地點點頭，説幾句“當真？”之類，時間沒準兒還得縮短一半。

'Oh yes,' said Eric. 'They come down here, land on your lawn, and then buzz off again, sometimes with your cat. Mrs. Williams at the Post Office, her cat – you know the ginger one? – it got abducted by space aliens. Course, they brought it back the next day but it were in a very odd mood. Kept prowling around all morning, and then falling asleep in the afternoon. Used to be the other way round, is the point. Sleep in the morning, prowl in the afternoon. Jet lag, you see, from being in an interplanetary craft.'

“哦，沒錯。”埃裏克道，“他們跑這兒來，降落到你的草坪上，然後又嗡嗡嗡地飛個沒影，有時候還順手牽了你的貓。郵局的威廉姆斯夫人，她的貓——薑黃色的那隻你知道吧？——就被外星人劫持過。當然，他們第二天就把它送回來了，可從那以後它的情緒就特別反常。每天上午都鬼鬼祟祟地到處溜達，然後下午又呼呼大睡。問題在於過去它的習慣跟這剛好相反，早上睡覺，下午鬼鬼祟祟。時差的緣故。你瞧，因為坐了星際飛船嘛。”

'I see,' said Tricia.

“恩。”崔茜卡回答道。

'They dyed it tabby, too, she says. These marks are exactly the sort of marks that their landing pods would probably make.'

“他們還給它染上了條紋，她説的。這些印子，跟他們的分離艙可能搞出來的痕跡簡直一模一樣。”

'You don't think it's the lawn mower?' asked Tricia.

“你不認為這或許是割草機嗎？”崔茜卡問。

'If the marks were more round, I'd say, but these are just off-round, you see. Altogether more alien in shape.'

“如果它們再圓些，倒是沒準兒，可這些根本就不怎麼圓，你瞧。總的來説形狀就是比較外星。”

'It's just that you mentioned the lawn mower was playing up and needed fixing or it might start gouging holes in the lawn.'

“只不過我記得你提到過，割草機有點毛病，得修修，否則不定會在草坪上刨出洞來。”

'I did say that, Miss Tricia, and I stand by what I said. I'm not saying it's not the lawn mower for definite, I'm just saying what seems to me more likely given the shapes of the holes. They come in over these trees, you see, in their landing pods…'

“這話我是説過，崔茜卡小姐，而且我這人説話一向靠得住。我沒説肯定不是割草機乾的，我只是告訴你，從洞的形狀上判斷哪種可能性更大。他們是從那些樹上下來的，你瞧，坐着他們的分離艙……”

'Eric…,' said Tricia, patiently.

“埃裏克……”崔茜卡非常耐心。