雅思寫作真題9分範文分享 犯罪減少最佳辦法

每次的雅思寫作考試之後，必定是有一波範文的放出，不過良莠不齊，大部分是濫竽充數，本文爲大家分享一篇英國雅思老師原創的範文，絕對的9分級別，趕緊來膜拜與學習吧。

本文爲大家2018年3月3日雅思寫作考題，是關於犯罪話題的，討論教育與監獄誰能更有效地減少犯罪。是一道比較有難度的話題，不過這篇英國雅思老師的範文還是值得信賴的9分喲。

In most countries, prison is the most common solution for the problem of crime. However, the more effective solution is to provide people with better education so that they do not become what extent do you agree or disagree.

雅思寫作話題解析

很多考鴨的立場是這樣的：better education 和 prison 都好都有用，因此一樣有效，一團和氣，不得罪任何人，那考官就要得罪你了。

以上的立場，根本就不是一個明確的立場。

此外，A和B都有效，不代表它們一樣有效。一樣有效，是考鴨愛走的捷徑。這樣確實可以減少很多思考。

我們來想想如何處理。首先，讓考鴨們無法釋懷的一點，prison 和 better education 都是有效的，其次，再問問你的心，到底哪個更有效?多數人會覺得是 better education 吧

參考思路

長遠看來，better education 更有效;但是針對一些 better education 無法改善的人，仍然需要 prison.即prison 是 better education 的補充

主體段的展開：

1. 爲什麼 better education 更有效

2. better education 無法改善的人是誰

雅思寫作9分範文

開頭段

Opinions differ on the extent to which incarceration deals effectively with crime as opposed to improving the quality of education. My view is that there will always be a role for prisons in confining evil people, but better education is more likely to reduce crime levels.

主體段1：討論 prison 的作用

Confining criminals to prison is likely to always be necessary at least to some extent. There are currently a large number of people in jail for serious offences like murder and, for them, preventive education would come too late. It is more important that society continue to be protected from them than to release them in the hope that they might reform by virtue of educational programmes. Another reality is the fact that some people choose to commit serious wrongdoings no matter how much education they have received. This is the case for many white-collar crimes such as fraud which often involve the elaborate schemes that only very intelligent people could devise.

1) 犯了謀殺罪等重罪的大量囚犯，靠防止犯罪的教育來改變他們，已經太遲了。保護人們不受他們的傷害，比釋放他們並指望通過教育來改造他們，更重要。

2) 有些人無論接受了多少教育，都會選擇犯罪。很多白領犯罪，比如詐騙，就是需要高智商的人才能設計出來的。

主體段2：討論 better education 的作用

Nevertheless, improvements to education would, in my view, be a better means of reducing the number of people who want to commit crime in the long-term. Acquiring more useful knowledge especially when young would provide greater opportunities for entry into satisfying careers. Further education opens up new possibilities in terms of developing healthy interests and participating in worthwhile activities such as sports and hobbies. Better education would achieve improved outcomes such as a proficiency in a sport rather than just a passing interest. The more people achieve personal goals in terms of their careers or hobbies, the more people will find meaning in life and thus not be tempted to use their talents in illegal ways.

1) 獲取更多有用的知識，尤其在年輕的時候，會給人帶去更大的機會，進入體面的職業。

2) 中學後的深造，爲人們培養健康的興趣和參加有意義的活動，提供了新的可能性。

3) 更好的教育能帶來更好的結果，比如對某項運動轉瞬即逝的興趣變成了熟練。

越多的人在職業和愛好方面達到了目標，就有越多的人找到生命的意義，因此不會被誘惑將自己的才華運用到違法的事情上。

結尾段

In conclusion, I acknowledge the place that imprisonment will have in protecting society from serious offenders who have already committed crimes. However crime levels are more likely to fall more drastically over the longer term by reason of improvement to education.

　　老外雅思寫作話題解讀For controls

1. Every society has vulnerable people – such as children, people with learning difficulties – who are not able to make good decisions about the content of visual media that they watch; they need protection from disturbing content and parents or carers are not always willing or able to protect them;每個社會都有脆弱的人，比如孩子，有學習障礙的人。他們在看過媒體提供的內容後哦，無法做出正確的決定。他們需要保護，免受這些內容的影響，而父母和其他照顧他們的人不總是樂意或者有能力去保護他們。The tolerance of violent visual media is inconsistent with the values of a society which wishes to promote altruism and kindness among citizens忍受媒體的暴力內容，和社會的價值觀不符。社會希望市民發揚利他主義和善意。There is considerable anecdotal evidence that serial killers and terrorists consumed a lot of violent images before committing their crimes.有相當多的傳聞表明，連環殺手和恐怖分子在犯罪前看了大量的暴力畫面。

讓步反駁

Though it may be impossible to scientifically prove that watching violence leads to more acts of violence being committed, our common sense tells us that what we consume has an effect on our personalities and our actions over the longer term.雖然不大可能科學地論證看暴力畫面會引發更多暴力行爲，但是我們的常識告訴我們，我們消費(接收)的東西，經過比較長的時間後，對我們的人格和行爲有影響。

老外雅思寫作話題解讀Against controls

1. Individual liberty – watching films per se does not directly damage other people and so everyone should be free to make their own moral judgments about what kind of media content they watch個人自由。看電影本質上不會直接讓我們損害別人，所以人人都應該有自由 就他們所觀看的媒體內容 做自己的道德判斷。2. It is simply impracticable for governments to control the access to media content of millions or even billions of users; doing so could also require a dangerous level of state intrusion into the private lives of citizens讓政府控制數以百萬甚至數十億的用戶在媒體上觀看什麼內容，就是不可行的。這樣做還會打擾市民的私人生活，這種打擾甚至會達到一個危險的程度。

老外雅思寫作話題解讀總結

支持：1. 暴力內容對沒有判斷能力的人的影響 2. 暴力的宣揚和社會價值觀不符(大部分考鴨不會想到的點) 3. 暴力內容和恐怖主義相關(這種相關性不強的點，可以寫，但是不能作爲主要的分論點來使用，也就不能放在前面寫)4. (讓步反駁)雖然暴力畫面和暴力行爲的發生無法科學地論證，但是我們的常識判斷它們是有聯繫的(這一點的思考展示了批判性思維，很多人會混淆“科學”和“常識”，把人人都認同的東西當做是科學，就不會做這樣的區分)

反對：1. 人們有自由做自己的道德判斷 2. 政府控制用戶不可行(對可行性的考慮，政府相關話題可以套用)3. 政府控制用戶會侵犯市民的隱私(上一點的延伸)

寫好這個題目，並不是要求考鴨想到或者用到以上全部的點，但是以上大部分的點和題目的相關性都是非常高的，事宜建議採用以上的觀點，雖然不必全部使用。