建立人脈膽子小？這四點讓你更討巧

You're standing face-to-face with a professional in your industry who can help you advance your career. This is your chance to wow this person with a strong handshake, bright smile and direct eye contact, followed by a witty comment that initiates a loud fit of laughter.
現在，你和一個行業專家正面對面站着，並且這個專家對促進你的職業生涯有很大的幫助。這是一個機會，你可以先通過一次有力的握手，燦爛的微笑以及直接的對視來博得他對你的稱讚，接着再以詼諧的話語引發彼此的開懷大笑。

However, you can't communicate well or make a good first impression when your mouth is dry, your palms are sweaty, your thoughts are scattered and you're blanking on that pitch you prepared.
但是，當你嘴脣發乾，手心冒汗，思維分散，而且突然記不起之前準備的東西時，你就不可能表達得很好或者說給別人留下一個很好的第一印象。

Here's the good news: These nervous feelings and anxious thoughts are completely normal (and, in fact, very common), and there are ways to overcome them. Before you know it, you'll be shaking hands and expanding your network with ease and confidence.
這裏有一個好消息：這些緊張的感覺和焦慮的情緒都是正常的（事實上，也很常見），並且有許多方法可以克服它們。在你知道這點之前，你要一直握手，然後輕鬆自信地擴大你的人際關係網。

Here are some networking tips to put to use when you feel intimidated.
當你膽怯的時候可以使用下列方法來建立你的人際關係網。

1. Forget about the business side
1. 忘記業務方面的事情

Remember that engaging in a professional relationship is not an immoral practice founded on dishonesty. Job seekers should focus on maintaining a casual mentality and they should approach networking with a genuine curiosity instead of a fear of failure (or the more complicated fear of success).
記住，構建職業上的人情關係，並不是一種建立在欺騙基礎上的不道德行爲。求職者們應該注意保持漫不經心的心態，他們應該出於真正的好奇心來接觸同行，而不是因爲害怕失敗（或者是因渴望成功而產生的說不清道不明的恐懼感）。

In order to develop a relaxed mindset, job seekers should remind themselves that they are building a social network that is founded on mutual respect, genuine interest and a clear understanding of reciprocity.
爲了培養放鬆的思維模式，求職者們應該提醒自己他們所在建立的社交網絡是基於共同的尊重，真實的興趣和互惠原則。

In other words, you aren't just hunting for favors and begging for advice and advancement opportunities. Besides, the people you meet and get to know while networking are just that — people. They have families, obligations, fears and strengths — and they spill mustard on their shirts just like you.
換句話說，你不能只是爲了尋求幫助，懇求建議和發展機會。另外，當你建立人際關係網時你所見和所要結識的也是人。他們有家人，有責任，有憂懼和長處，也會像你一樣把芥末醬灑在他們的襯衫上。

Once you remind yourself of the dynamics of a professional relationship, you can initiate conversations with confidence. Use a warm smile that says, "I'm approachable, and I'm excited to meet you."
一旦你自己想起了職業關係上的互動方式，你就可以發起一次自信的談話。一個溫暖的笑容可以說明，“我很友善，並且很高興認識你。”

2. Nail down your pitch
2. 確定好你的選講內容

According to a recent survey conducted by the University of Phoenix School of Business, 15% of working adults surveyed say they don't have enough experience to make networking worthwhile. Don't fall victim to missing out on a great opportunity just because your resume isn't robust. This is where preparation comes in.
根據菲尼克斯大學商學院最近的一項調查，百分之十五被調查的成年工作者表示，他們不知道如何讓人際關係網變得有價值。千萬別隻是因爲簡歷不夠好而成爲了錯失絕好機會的受害者。從這裏參與準備吧。

Preparing a pitch can be tricky because it can sound like a sales tactic. Avoid clichés and slogans so the listener knows that you're sincerely presenting actionable solutions and not blowing smoke just to get a new job. Ultimately, a pitch should be a clear expression of your purpose and intentions. Here's how to prep the perfect pitch:
準備個講稿可能是件棘手的事情，因爲它聽起來像是一個銷售策略。不要老生常談和喊口號，以便聽衆能知道你在真誠地提出可行的解決方案，而不只是爲了得到一份新工作在那裏大肆吹噓。最終，一次宣講應能清楚地表達你的目的和意圖。下面將告訴你該如何準備一次完美的宣講：

Self-reflection: The first step is to really think about your goals. What is your purpose for speaking with this person? While the end goal is to advance your career in some way, your real focus is keeping the listener intrigued. You want him or her to be hooked and listen to your entire story.
反省：第一步就是要好好考慮你的目標。你和這個人說話的目的是什麼？當你最終的目標是想在某種程度上促進你的職業發展時，你真正的重點是要保持聽衆的興趣。你想要吸引他們，並且希望他們能夠聽完你的整個故事。

Tell your story: Write a clear introduction that describes who you are, what you do and how you plan on helping the listener. Identify the problem that he or she has and show how your solution is the best one. This is where storytelling abilities come into play. Introduce a challenge, describe how you solved it and explain what you learned.
講故事：寫一份清晰的自我介紹，內容包括描述你是誰，你做什麼的以及你計劃怎麼幫助你的聽衆。在確定好他們有這個問題後，接着你要展示出你的解決方案是最棒的一個。此處講故事的能力就發揮了作用。你還要介紹下遇到的挑戰，描述出你是如何解決這個問題以及從中學到了什麼。

Integrate a call to action: Finally, leave the listener with something actionable. This is where you schedule a follow up, such as grabbing a cup of coffee or going out to lunch.
決定與行爲相結合：最後你留給聽衆的應該是可執行的方案，此處你要安排一個後續行動，例如趕緊爲他們弄杯咖啡或是帶他們出去吃飯。

Practice makes perfect: Once you have this pitch written, read through it and practice several times. This is a great method for learning what you need to cover, but don't try to memorize and recite it word for word — your delivery shouldn't feel contrived. You want to hit your strong talking points and deliver your pitch from a place of sincerity and confidence.
熟能生巧:一旦你寫好了講稿，要通讀你的講稿並進行多次的練習。這是瞭解你還需要包含哪些內容的最好的辦法。但是不要試圖逐字逐句地記憶和背誦——你的演說方式不應該讓人感到不自然。你應該準確表現出你強有力的論據，並且以一種真誠自信的方式發表演講。

3. Relax and stand tall
3. 放輕鬆，自信點

All of these networking tips are only effective if you feel relaxed. People project their emotional states more than they realize through nonverbal cues. For example, crossed arms communicate resistance and a sense of defensiveness, whereas open arms make you appear more approachable.
所有這些建立人際關係網的技巧只有當你感到放鬆的時候纔會有效。通過非語言的暗示，人們所表現出的情緒狀態比他們意識到的要多。例如，雙臂交叉表示抵抗和防衛意識。反之，雙臂張開會讓你顯得更加友善。

Body language is more than just a representation of our emotional state. It can even affect our mentality. A September 2014 study conducted by researchers at the University of Auckland and published in Health Psychology found that standing up straight reduces stress. Upright participants said that they felt less fear, higher self-esteem and an overall better mood. Be mindful of your posture and how your body language is being presented when you're approaching people to network with. They're reading you before you have a chance to speak.
肢體語言不僅僅是我們情緒狀態的體現。它甚至能影響我們的心態。2014年9月奧克蘭大學曾在健康心理學上發表過一份研究，這份研究顯示筆直站立能夠減少壓力。那些筆直站立了的參與者們說他們會感到不那麼害怕，有更高的自尊並且整體上有一個更好的心情。當你接近並和他們打交道的時候，請注意你的儀態以及你所展現的肢體語言。他們會在你和他們交談之前先猜測你。

There are several other simple techniques that can help reduce stress and put you in a relaxed mindset. Certain stretches can provide stress relief, such as ear-to-shoulder stretches, spine rotations and toe touching. A study published by Oxford University Press in June 2014 found that regularly practicing yoga and other physical activity provided evidence of stress relief.
其他一些簡單的技巧也可以幫助你減壓，讓你有個放鬆的思維模式。一些伸展動作可以讓你的壓力得到緩解，比如從耳朵到肩部的伸展，脊椎轉體和腳尖碰觸。牛津大學出版社在2014年6月發表的研究發現，定期做瑜伽練習和其他的物理運動證明了其能夠緩解壓力。

Also, practicing mindfulness through exercises like meditation, yoga and tai chi can increase self-awareness and build skills to manage stress. These exercises can also reduce negative emotions. The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine published a study in May 2014 providing evidence suggesting that consistent meditation practice improves a person's quality of life and general mental health. While incorporating practices like meditation into your daily routine would be the best practice, you should at least perform them leading up to a networking event or professional interaction.
同樣，你可以通過諸如冥想，練瑜伽和打太極拳的方法來練習定力，這可以增強自我意識，培養應對壓力的技能。這些鍛鍊也可以減少你的消極情緒。在2014年5月交替與補償醫學雜誌發表了一項研究，該研究提供的證據顯示堅持做冥想練習可以改善一個人的生活質量和一般的心理健康。併入一些像冥想的練習到你的日常生活中將是最好的做法。在要和別人打交道或進行工作上的互動時你至少要做些這樣的練習。

Positive affirmations are a great way of shifting a negative mentality to a positive one. You can write your own by choosing a negative thought about yourself and writing the positive opposite that counteracts that belief. For example, if you're thinking, "I don't deserve this opportunity," you can write an affirmation like, "I deserve this, and I am excited to succeed." Affirmations like these are realistic and achievable perspectives that you can develop through repetition.
正面的肯定是一種轉變消極心態到積極心態的最好辦法。你可以寫下關於你自己的消極想法，再寫下積極的想法來抵消那種觀點。例如，如果你認爲“我不應該得到這個機會”，你可以寫一個肯定的話“這是我應得的，我很高興能夠成功”。類似這些的肯定是符合實際且可實現的想法，你可以通過重複來培養這種正確認知。

4. Schedule the follow-up
4. 安排後續行動

Now that you're relaxed and armed with an awesome pitch and confident mindset, you are able to apply these networking tips. You have a great opportunity to seize or squander — don't do the latter. Make sure that once you shake hands, introduce yourself and nail that pitch, you schedule a follow-up.
由於你很放鬆，也已備有極好的講稿和自信的思維模式，那麼你就能運用這些建立人際關係網的方法。你有一個好機會可以抓住或者揮霍——千萬不要做後者。確保在你握完手，介紹完自己並且確定好了講稿後，你要安排個後續行動。

It's important to be clear about your intentions for a coffee or lunch meeting. For example, explain how you hope to discuss how you can be an asset to your contact's company in a more detailed way. Also, use this first follow-up to further your rapport.
你要清楚你安排喝咖啡或者吃午餐的目的是什麼，這點很重要。例如，說明你希望如何來討論，如何以一個更詳細的方法成爲你熟人公司的財富。同樣，你要利用這個後續行動讓你們之間更融洽。

After the pitch and before the follow-up, send a quick email expressing your appreciation for their time. Finally, connect online through LinkedIn, and maintain an ongoing relationship with this contact and their network: Share information, join industry-related organizations, comment on relevant posts, and even contribute content to message boards.
在宣講之後，後續行動之前，快速發個郵件，對他們此次的到來表達下你的感激之情。最後，通過LinkedIn(領英)進行在線聯繫，和這個熟人以及他們的人際關係網保持一個不斷髮展的關係:分享信息，加入與行業相關的組織，對相關帖子發表評論，甚至可以撰寫一些內容到留言板。

These networking tips and relaxation techniques are realistic and effective methods for success.
這些建立人際關係網的技巧和放鬆竅門對於成功是實際有效的方法。