你需要變強大 關於生活的14個事實
“We spend much of our lives going about completely blind to reality, and yet we still have the gall to act victimized when it invariably catches up to us.” – Nenia Campbell
“我們完全不顧生活現實白白浪費了很多生命時光，既然避免不了要面對現實生活，那麼我們仍要有膽量來面對。”——作家奈尼爾-坎貝爾
1. You cannot always rely on friends
你不可能一直靠朋友幫忙
You will need certain life skills when nobody else is around. In this way you can rely on yourself to get out of trouble. It is a sad fact of life that we cannot count on other people most of the time. Make sure you have the following skills:
在你周圍沒人可以依靠的日子裏，那就需要你掌握一定的生活技能，這樣你可以靠自己走出困境。大部分時間我們無法指望別人，這個悲哀的生活事實是我們要面對的。你要保證自己掌握以下技能：
You can cook
會做飯
You can drive
會開車
You know about the power switches in your home
知道你家裏電源開關的位置
You have a spare set of keys in a secret place for when you get locked out
有一套備用鑰匙放在隱祕地方以備自己鎖在外面時用
You can manage your time
自己把握好時間
You learn something new about information technology every day to become computerate.
每天學習一些新的信息技術豐富自己的電腦知識
2. Make time for your passion
找時間去做自己愛做的事情
Whatever you love doing, make sure you do it at a set time. This is important because you find that friends, family, your boss, and your pet will be constantly yapping at your heels trying to steal your time. You have to build in the following defense mechanisms to stop people making unreasonable demands at the wrong moment:
無論你喜歡做什麼，都要保證你在自己設定的時間內做完。這一點很重要，因爲你會發現你的朋友、你的家庭、你的老闆、跟在你身後朝你叫個不停的寵物都在竊取着你的寶貴時間。你必須建立以下防禦機制來阻止人們在錯誤的時刻做出不合理的要求：
Switch off your phone
關掉電話
Turn off the computer
關掉電腦
Go out and do it or lock yourself in
出門去做，或是把自己關在家裏
Leave Post-its to remind these intruders. (Yes, I know your pet can’t read but the others can!)
記在便利貼上提醒那些干擾你的人（是，我知道你的寵物看不懂但別人能看懂！）
3. You accept challenges
你要接受挑戰
In order to grow in being sociable, stronger both physically and mentally, you have to accept challenges on a regular basis. You are pushing yourself to get better and stronger.
爲了增強社交能力，身心都要鍛鍊得更加堅強，你要定期接受挑戰。你把自己變得更優秀更堅強。
4. You like being alone but you are not a loner
你喜歡獨自一人，但你不是一個孤獨的人
“If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company.” – Jean-Paul Sartre
“如果你獨自一人時感到孤獨，就說明你沒有把自己陪好。”——約翰-保羅薩特
It is impossible to exist without social contact. You can be as strong and self-sufficient as you like, but at the end of the day you need to interact in a real, personal and meaningful way, which is neither Facebook nor Twitter. You need to be in contact with real people for this.
不可能不與社會接觸。你可以讓自己變得像你想象的那樣堅強和自信，結束一天的工作，但在工作之餘你需要與現實生活中的個人進行這有意義的互動，不要生活在臉書和推特的虛擬世界中。你要與真實的人接觸交流。
At the same time, you can enjoy quiet time alone and you are comfortable with that. The health benefits range from increased creativity, less depression and improved memory.
同時，你可以享受安靜的獨處時光，會讓你很舒服。對健康也有增加創造力、減少抑鬱、改善記憶的益處。
5. Lower your expectations
降低你的期望值
“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee
“我活着不是爲了滿足你的期望，就像你也不是因爲我的期望而活着一樣。”——李小龍
Don’t think that people will always be there when you fall or fail. The phone will go silent. Many friends will suddenly be very busy with their own problems.
在你人生不得意或失意之時，不要認爲總有人會圍着你轉。你的電話不再響起，你曾經的很多朋友很突然地都在各忙各的。
6. Prepare for bad times
爲不得意的日子做好準備
Stuff happens and it can get nasty! You will have to learn to be stronger and not give up. But the good news is that adversity and suffering will make you appreciate life afterwards. Those who endured hardships, like being homeless, divorced or ill, found that they been able to develop better coping strategies and were more socially active.
不得意的人生遭遇的確令人不悅，你要學會堅強不放棄。但好在遭遇逆境和磨難之後，會讓你對生活滿懷感激之情。像無家可歸的人、離婚的人或生病的人，這些歷經艱難困苦的人能夠找出更好的應對策略並積極參與社交活動。
“Hope for the best and cope with the rest.” – Anon “
滿懷最美好的希望，謀事在人成事在天。” ——無名氏
7. You cannot be popular with everybody
你無法取悅每個人
It’s just chemistry. There are people who will rub you up the wrong way, will be bitchy, and will be downright unhelpful in the workplace. You can adopt a few avoidance strategies to reduce the fallout. Get over it and enjoy the company of the real friends you have.
只不過是個化學反應而已。在職場上有些人會惹惱你，有些人會讓你抓狂，有些人對你絲毫起不到幫助作用。你可以採取一些規避策略以減少對你的影響。克服那些不利影響享受你的好朋友陪伴着你的美好時光。
8. You learn from failure
你要從失敗中學習經驗教訓
Everybody screws up. You know that perfection is impossible. Every time you have a disaster, do not beat yourself up. Just ask yourself how you could have avoided the trap or planned it better. In this way you can learn a few life lessons from failure.
每個人都有搞砸的時候，人生不可能始終完美無缺。每次遭遇災難你不要責怪自己，自己想辦法如何避免落入陷阱或做個比較好的計劃。這樣你可以從失敗中學習一些人生的經驗教訓。
9. Nobody else will praise you
沒有人會表揚你
Time to give yourself a pat on the back for all your achievements. Don’t be afraid to list them in your head when you get discouraged. Give yourself a score for each finished task. This keeps you strong when facing life’s harsh realities.
對於你自己取得的成就，要自己表揚一下自己。氣餒時不要害怕不要心慌，每完成一個任務要給自己打個分數，這會讓你堅強地面對殘酷的現實生活。
10. Toxic company is bad for you
消極的朋友對你沒好處
You know the people I mean. These are the whiners, the pessimists, the miserable ones, the cheap ones, the nasty types, and the prejudiced. They make a lousy team. Try to gravitate towards the optimistic and passionate people who will help you see the brighter side of life.
你知道我所指的這類人：牢騷滿腹者、悲觀主義者、悲慘可憐者、小氣不大度的人、脾氣不好的人、有偏見的人，這類人會讓整個團隊都變得糟糕不堪。儘量和樂觀充滿激情的人相處，有助於你看到生活光明的一面。
11. Money is tight
資金很緊張
Nobody wants to be stalked by debt or creditors. You have to work out how best to stay within your budget. Think of ways to save, like having packed lunches. Never go shopping without a list. Avoid impulsive buys. Use cash as much as you can. Leave the credit cards at home as they tend to lull you into a fantasy world.
沒人願意債務纏身或成爲欠債的人，生活開支費用最好不要超出預算。想辦法節省一下預算，像午飯吃便當；去購物時拉一個清單，避免衝動購物；儘量用現金消費，把信用卡放在家裏，因爲信用卡消費起來沒有概念。
12. Invest in kindness
善心投資
Doing acts of kindness every day to people at work or those in difficulty will pay handsome dividends. People will return the kindness. Investing in kindness is like having savings in the bank. They will always earn a little interest. What goes around comes around. There is also an added bonus in that it makes you feel good for a while.
每天爲同事或者有困難的人慷慨解囊做些善事，人們會回報你的善舉。投資善事就像在銀行裏存錢，總會賺取些許利潤回報，善有善報。另外還有一個好處，做善事會讓你很長一段時間都感覺良好。
13. Be accountable for your behavior
你要對自己的行爲負責
If you behave badly, rudely or take unnecessary risks, then you have to be totally accountable for what you have done. You have to take the responsibility for your behavior. Another harsh lesson from the life arena! Taking the consequences, not blaming others and apologizing for harm done have to be on your to do list.
如果你的表現不好、粗魯或冒險，那麼你就得對你的所作所爲完全負責。你要爲你的行爲負責。從人生大舞臺上學到另外一個嚴酷的現實教訓！承擔後果不是責備他人，自己要對傷害性的所作所爲道歉。
14. Look forward
要向前看
There is no escape. Life is wonderful but it is really hard work. Now is the time to start afresh.
不要逃避現實。生活很美好但也很艱難，從現在開始重新生活。
“All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming.” – Helen Keller
“儘管世界充滿了磨難，但戰勝磨難的例子也比比皆是。”——海倫-凱勒
