人際交往應把握好的十條建議
Want to build positive relationships? Then make sure not to commit the following 10 things that disrupt relationships:
你想建立積極的人際關係嗎？那麼確保不要做一下十件會毀滅關係的事情。
1. Giving hurtful comments. Are you hurting others by your lack of tact? You might think that you're being helpful, but your intentions might have hurt the other party instead. Put yourself in others'shoes first. If it's not a comment you appreciate hearing yourself, then perhaps it's not something others will appreciate either.
1. 給傷害性的評論。你曾經因爲缺乏機智而傷害過他人嗎？你可能覺得你是在幫別人，但是你可能傷害別人。首先，替別人想想。如果你不願意聽到那個評論，那麼對於別人而言，可能也不願意。
2. Giving solutions when the person is really looking for a listening ear. Probably an understatement: A lot of times what people want is a listening ear. Deep down, people have solutions to the problems they are facing – they are just looking for someone to share their frustrations with because they have had a long and hard day. I had a friend who would always butt in with suggestions whenever I shared my frustrations. Our conversations became stifling – in the end I stopped talking about them altogether because I wasn't getting the refuge I wanted. Be more conscious of what the other party is looking for, and adjust accordingly to fit that.
2. 給予解決的方法，當別人只是需要一個傾聽的對象。可能只是一個保守的結論：很多時候人們只是需要傾訴。實際上，人們對於他們所面對的問題，已經有了解決的方法，他們只是在尋找能與他們分享心事的人，因爲他們日子不好過。我有一個好朋友，經常插嘴提建議，當我只是想分享我的沮喪時。我們的對話變得非常沉悶——到最後我停止了訴說，因爲我沒有尋找到我的避難所。我們應該更加謹慎地去意識到對方需要什麼，然後調整自己去適應。
3. Being judgmental; Thinking you are above others. No one likes to be judged or labeled. If you are constantly judging others for what they do/say, it might be good to reflect that upon yourself. Putting someone off doesn't make someone a better person; it just makes him/her appear insecure. Humility is a timeless virtue that's appreciated by everyone.
3. 具有批判精神，覺得自己高高在上。沒有人喜歡被批判或者被貼上標籤。如果你不停地評論他人的言行，那麼你所評價的內容正好反映了你自己。並不能將別人變成更好的人。這會讓別人沒有安全感。謙卑是每個人都欣賞的永恆的美德。
4. Being defensive to criticism. How well do you respond to criticism? Do you become defensive and wall yourself up? Or do you graciously take it into stride and use the criticism constructively for growth? Learn to deal with critical people— it might be the most important skill you can ever acquire.
4. 遠離批評。你是如何看待他人的批評呢？你是對批評敬而遠之，置之不理？還是充滿感激地傾聽，在批評中積極地成長呢？學習與批評你的人相處——這恐怕是你將獲得的最重要的技巧。
5. Telling people what to do. Most of us don't like it when people try to boss us around. Learning to energize people and get them on board a common vision is more empowering than trying to order people around.
5. 告訴別人做什麼。很多人都不喜歡被別人呼來喝去。學會激勵別人，同等地看待別人比對別人呼來喝去更有用。
6. Being aloof; Not being responsive. I have experienced situations where acquaintances do not respond to correspondences, possibly because they do not see them as important. Subsequently I form a very bad impression of them, and deprioritize their requests when they seek my help later on.
6. 遠離而不響應。我遇到過這樣的情形，熟人並不相應的響應，可能他們並不覺得那很重要。結果我對他們形成了差印象，當他們後來找我幫忙時，我就拒絕了。
7. Thinking you know it all. The more I learn, the more I realize what I don't know. There is a wealth of knowledge out there for us to learn. Thinking you know everything, rejecting new methods and vehemently insisting on your ways prevents you from connecting with others. Be open to trying new things.
7. 認爲自己知道很多。我學得越多，就越意識到自己知道的太少。有大量的知識，等待着我們去學習。認爲自己什麼都知道，拒絕嘗試新的方法，激烈的堅持自己的方式將會使你與他人隔絕。大膽的去嘗試新鮮的事物吧。
8. Being a complainer. It's okay to complain every once in a while, but doing it all too often puts off people. Complaining too much makes you an energy vortex—it becomes draining to be around you. People like to be around positive people, not energy vampires. If you are one, it's not too late to change —start by focusing on positive things around you and work from there.
8. 抱怨。偶爾抱怨沒什麼事，但是如果你經常這樣將會讓別人很反感。抱怨太多會讓你陷入能量漩渦——會使你的精力殆盡。人們喜歡被積極的人圍繞，而不是精力吸血鬼。如果你是其中之一，那麼什麼時候改變都不晚——從現在開始關注積極的事物吧。
9. Not following up on things you agreed on. One of my pet peeves is when people don't follow up on things they agree on (be it appointments, favors, etc). I think it makes them unreliable and leaves a very bad taste in my mouth. These are the same people that I make a note not to work with in the future.
9. 不跟從自己先前的觀點。其中一個我無法忍受的事是人們不認同他們之前同意的約定或是想法。我認爲這讓他們變得不可靠，我對他們的評價非常差。這些人同樣是我以後工作中不想與之合作的人。
10. Not listening. Are you present in your conversations with others? Or is your mind on something else? When conversing with someone, learn to not only listen, but listen actively. Seek out the underlying message behind what someone is saying.
10. 不會傾聽。在與別人的交談中，你是否認真在聽？或者你的心思已經跑到別人地方去了。當我們與別人交談時，我們不僅要學會傾聽，更要積極的傾聽。試圖去尋找說話者隱藏的信息。
