爆笑的英語笑話要長的
冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,伴隨着網絡的普及它已經滲透到了青年羣體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,也能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。下面是本站小編帶來的爆笑的長的英語笑話，歡迎閱讀!
A man left for a vacation to Jamaica.
有個人去牙買加度假，
His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
他的妻子正好出差，所以打算在他到之後的第二天去找他。
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message.
他到了賓館，想要給妻子發封郵件，
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
但是記着郵箱的紙找不到了，於是他憑着記憶把信發到了一個郵箱。
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.
很不幸，他漏掉了一個字母，因此他的信發到了一個老傳教士的妻子的郵箱裏，而傳教士恰好在前一天去世了。
When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.
悲痛的老婦人察看郵箱，看着顯示器屏幕她尖叫一聲，隨後就倒在地上死去了。
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: "Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
聽到她的聲音，家人趕忙跑進她的房間，只見這樣一句話顯示在屏幕上：“親愛的，快來吧。爲了你明天的到來，一切都準備好了。愛你的丈夫。
Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here."
順便說一句，這裏可真夠熱的。”
爆笑的長的英語笑話篇二One dark night two guys were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery.
一個漆黑的夜晚，兩個小夥子參加完聚會，決定抄近路穿過一片墳地走回家。
When they got to about the middle of the graveyard they were startled and stopped moving. There was this terrifying noise, “TAP-TAP-TAP” coming from the shadows.
走到墳地的中間，從陰暗處傳出來恐怖的“嗒、嗒、嗒”聲音，嚇得他們再也走不動了。
Trembling with fear, they spotted an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
渾身顫抖着，他們發現有個老人正拿着榔頭和鑿子鑿一塊墓碑。
"Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath.
“噢，主啊，”其中一個屏住呼吸說，
“You SCARED us half to death. We thought you were a GHOST! What are you doing working here so late at night?"
“你嚇死我們了，我們還以爲你是鬼了。這麼晚了你在這幹什麼呢?”
"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!!"
“這些傻瓜!”老人抱怨說，“他們拼錯了我的名字!”
爆笑的長的英語笑話篇三I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently.
有一次我走進一家快餐店，
I was fascinated by a sign which offered Fat Free French Fries.
被一個標誌牌吸引了，上面寫着“無油薯條”。
I decided to give them a try.
我打算嚐嚐，
I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries from the fryer which were dripping with fat.
但是看到服務員從鍋裏撈出的一籃薯條沾滿了油，真是嚇了我一大跳。
He filled a bag with these fries and put them in my order.
他給我裝了一袋，賬單上顯示出價錢。
"Just a minute!" I said. 'Those aren't fat free." "Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes.... The fat is free!"
“等會兒，”我說，“這不是無油的?”“是的，我們只對薯條收費，油是免費的!”
爆笑的長的英語笑話篇四Three Catholic women and an old Jewish lady were having coffee.
三個信奉天主教的婦女和一個猶太老婦人在一起喝咖啡。
The first Catholic woman tells her friends,"My son is a he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'".
第一個婦女對她的朋友們說，“我兒子是一個牧師。每當他走進房間，人們總是稱呼他神父”。
The second woman chirps, "My son is a ever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'".
第二個婦女唧唧喳喳地說：“我的兒子是一名主教。每當他走進房間時，人們都尊稱他大人”。
The third woman says, "My son is a ever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'".
第三個婦女說：“我的兒子是一名紅衣主教。每當他走進房間時，人們都恭敬地稱他閣下”。
As the old little Jewish lady sips her coffee in silence,the first three give her a subtle "Well...?"look.
這時那位身材瘦小的猶太老婦人默默地喝着她的咖啡，那三個婦女一起用微妙的眼神看着她，
So she says: "My son is 6'5; he has broad,square shoulders and is very muscular; he's terribly handsome.
意思是：“你兒子呢?” 於是她說，“我兒子身高六英尺五英寸，肩膀寬闊，肌肉發達，他長得非常英俊。
He has beautiful hair, dresses very well and always smells ever he walks into a room, women say 'Oh, my God!'
他的頭髮很漂亮，衣着講究，而且身上總是散發着一股令人心曠神怡的芳香。每當他走進房間時，女人們都會說，“哦，我的上帝呀!”
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