三則趣味英語笑話

下面是本站小編整理的三則經典趣味英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

經典英語笑話：至少你有所選擇

A newly deceased sinner had just entered hell, and was being shown around.

一名罪人去世後，剛下地獄就被帶往各處走走。

"I'll tell you how it works around here," declareda particularly hideous devil. "You get your choice of three punishments. Here's the first. "

“我將告訴你這裏的狀況，”一位面目可憎的魔鬼宣佈道。“你必須在三種刑罰中選一個，這是第一種。”

The sinner watched in horror as he saw men and women repeatedly being immersed in boiling water.

罪人看見男男女女反覆地被浸入沸騰的熱水中，嚇得目瞪口呆。

"Here's the second. " The poor sinner shuddered as he saw unfortunate people beingcontinually',event)">continually hounded by ferocious beasts and cruel demons.

“再看第二種。”可憐的罪人看到一些不幸的人被兇惡的野獸和殘酷的妖怪不停地追趕，嚇得直打哆嗦。

“And here's the third. ” A group was standing knee deep in shit and sipping he joined the group.

“這是第三種。”一羣人站在深及膝部的糞池中喝茶。

No sooner had he done so than another devil yelled out

“這個看來還可以，我就選這個。”罪人說着便加入了那羣犯人。

"OK, tea time s over. Get back on your heads. "

就在他加入不久，一個魔鬼大聲喊道：“午茶時間結束，回到頭下腳上倒立的姿勢。”

　經典英語笑話：設身處地替人想一想

Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,

某一農場上，老媽要老爸去修理茅房。

Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Morn

老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回來了。

"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "

“那個茅房什麼問題也沒有啊，孩子的娘。”

Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.

老媽將老爸帶回茅房，把他的頭塞進茅坑當中。

"Hey," said Dad, "my beard',event)">beard is stuck!"

“嘿!”老爸說道，“我的鬍子粘住了!”

"Aggravatin', ain't it?"

“問題嚴重了，是不是呢?”

　經典英語笑話：先享受後付款

Jack the playboy had explored every corner of the world and dallied with many women,

花花公子傑克喜歡到世界各地探險，和許多妓女風流，

but in Hong Kong he finally encountered a professional girl who left him with far more than fond memories.

但在香港，他終於遇到一名職業神女，這名神女留給他的不止是溫柔的回憶而已。

First, he consulted a British doctor.

首先他請教了一名英國醫生。

"Goocl Lord!" exclaimed the medic,

“我的天啊!”醫生叫道，

"you've got more venereal diseases than a medical textbook. I'm afraid we' re going to have toamputate. "

“你所患的性病比一本醫學教科書還要豐富，恐怕我們必須把你的東西切除掉。”

Horrified, the playboy sought out an American specialist, who shook his head gravely and said,

花花公子心生恐懼，便找了一位美國專科醫師幫忙，但那名專科醫師表情凝重地搖頭說：

"Sorry, son; if we don't amputate your member, the disease will spread to your other organs. "

“對不起，小兄弟，如果我們不切除那活兒，病毒將會感染到其他器官。”

Desperately, the swinger consulted a Chinese herbalist.

那名風流公子走投無路，便向一位中醫請教。

The wise old man examined the patient carefully and nodded his head sagely.

這位充滿智慧的老先生仔細檢查病人後煞有介事地點頭說道：

"I know your problem," he said. "You play with bad girl, she very sick, now you very sick. "

“我知道你的問題。你和壞女人亂搞，她的性病很嚴重，你現在的病情也很嚴重。…

“Doctor, the British and American doctors told me my pride and joy would have to be cut off. . . "

“大夫，英國和美國的醫生都說我的東西必須要切除……”

"These Western doctors, all they want to do is cut, cut, cut, and charge big money. "

“這些西醫所做的就是切，切，切，然後收一大筆錢。”

"You mean I don't need surgery? ! " exclaimed the young man joyously.

“你意思是我可以不用動外科手術?!”年輕人喜出望外地問道。

"Don't you worry, " said the ancient practitioner',event)">practitioner.

“別擔心，”老中醫師說：

"You go home, relax, wait two, three weeks, pecker fall off by himself."

“回家去，好好休息一陣，等二三個星期後，那活兒會自己掉下來。”