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錢鍾書經典美文《窗》英語翻譯

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錢鍾書先生的這篇散文說的是窗子,但是其用意絕不僅僅是說說窗子而已,而是要以窗子來比喻生活、比喻人生。從語言上看,《窗》延續了一貫的錢派手法,用詞平實、普通,沒有長句,沒有什麼複雜結構,非常從容地敘述、說理,卻又緊緊地扣住了主題。這樣的特點對翻譯構成的難度不言而喻,翻譯中應當時時充分考慮上述特點,儘量在譯文中體現出來。下面我們就以《窗》這篇散文的前兩段爲例,來談談漢譯英中可能遇到的問題。

錢鍾書經典美文《窗》英語翻譯

漢譯英翻譯:

窗 Random Thoughts on the Window

又是春天,窗子可以常開了。春天從窗外進來,人在屋子裏坐不住,就從門裏出去。不過屋子外的春天太賤了!到處是陽光,不像射破屋裏陰深的那樣明亮;到處是給太陽曬得懶洋洋的風,不像攪動屋裏沉悶的那樣有生氣。就是鳥語,也似乎瑣碎而單薄,需要屋裏的寂靜來做襯托。我們因此明白,春天是該鑲嵌在窗子裏看的,好比畫配了框子。  

It is spring again and the window can be left open as often as one would like. As spring comes in through the windows, so people——unable to bear staying inside any longer——go outdoors. The spring outside, however, is much too cheap, for the sun shines on everything, and so does not seem as bright as that which shoots into the darkness of the house. Outside the sun-slothed breeze blows everywhere, but it is not so lively as that which stirs the gloominess inside the house. Even the chirping of the birds sounds so thin and broken that the quietness of the house is needed to set it off. It seems that spring was always meant to be put behind a windowpane for show, just like a picture in a frame.

同時,我們悟到,門和窗有不同的意義。當然,門是造了讓人出進的。但是,窗子有時也可作爲進出口用,譬如小偷或小說裏私約的情人就喜歡爬窗子。所以窗子和門的根本分別,決不僅是有沒有人進來出去。若據賞春一事來看,我們不妨這樣說:有了門,我們可以出去;有了窗,我們可以不必出去。窗子打通了大自然和人的隔膜,把風和太陽逗引進來,使屋子裏也關着一部分春天,讓我們安坐了享受,無需再到外面去找。  

At the same time it also becomes clear that the door has a different significance from the window. Of course, doors were made for people to pass through; but a window can also sometimes serve as an entrance or as an exit, and is used as such by thieves and by lovers in novels. In fact the fundamental difference between a door and a window has nothing to do with them being either entrances or exits. When it comes to the admiration of spring, it could be put this way: a door makes it possible for one to go out, whereas a window makes it possible for one not to have to. A window helps to pull down the partition between man and nature. It leads breezes and sunlight in, and keeps part of the spring in the house. It allows one to sit and enjoy the spring in peace, and makes it unnecessary to go looking for it outside.

逐句分析:

Random Thoughts on the Window (題目中的這個窗字,包含的意思較爲豐富,使人有多種聯想,因此譯成Random Thoughts on the Window.)  

又是春天

It is spring again

中文是無主句,英文沒有這樣的句子結構,因此用It is……句型。原文裏“又”用在句首,但是英文如果也把again放在句首,這個詞就太突出,分量太重了。所以again一詞在譯文中放在句末和原文“又”放在句首分量相當。

窗子可以常開了

and the window can be left open as often as one would like

用定冠詞the 加單數名詞window來代表所有的窗子。英語裏表示“全部”可以有幾種方法:1)複數名詞,2)不定冠詞a/an+名詞,3)定冠詞+名詞。這裏就是用的第三種,更側重其一致性。“常開”不能譯成can open often或can be opened often.因爲原文是從人的角度說的,人們什麼時候想開窗都行,所以用了one would like這樣的說法。

春天從窗外進來

As spring comes in through the windows

這句把春天擬人化了,英文也用同樣的結構就行。窗外:out of the window.但是,如果把“從窗外進來”理解成一個過程,用through表示就比較好。

人在屋子裏坐不住,就從門裏出去。

so people——unable to bear staying inside any longer——go outdoors

破折號之間的形容詞短語說明人們在屋裏坐不住的原因。bear:忍受,後面既可跟-ing動詞,也可跟不定式動詞。

不過屋子外的春天太賤了

The spring outside, however, is much too cheap

這裏的“賤”,是說春天多陽光,以多爲賤,中外同理,用cheap也就順理成章了。

到處是陽光

for the sun shines on everything

這裏和上一句是連接在一起的,所以用了連接詞for來說明原因。最好不要譯成the sunshine is everywhere.因爲陽光並不是一種存在,而是說照耀在所有的一切上面,因此說shines.

不像射破屋裏陰深的那樣明亮

and so does not seem as bright as that which shoots into the darkness of the house

用seem是指屋裏屋外陽光是一樣的,只是環境的反差使陽光顯得不同罷了。as……as是表示屋裏屋外陽光的比較。that指the sun.

到處是給太陽曬得懶洋洋的風

Outside the sun-slothed breeze blows everywhere

這裏加了一個詞outside,因爲後面馬上要說到的“屋裏”並不包括在“到處”一詞裏。“曬”字英文裏與之相當的詞就是shine,但是shine並沒有帶複合賓語的用法,所以換了一個角度來說這句話。sun-slothed是一個複合詞。

不像攪動屋裏沉悶的那樣有生氣

but it is not so lively as that which stirs the gloominess inside the house

沉悶這個詞在這裏不是形容詞,而是名詞,所以用gloomy加上詞尾-ness構成了表示狀態的名詞。

就是鳥語,也似乎瑣碎而單薄,需要屋裏的寂靜來做襯托。

Even the chirping of the birds sounds so thin and broken that the quietness of the house is needed to set it off

說thin and broken而不說broken and thin只是因爲語音的關係,音節少的詞放在前面,多的放在後面,結構上顯得平穩,不至於頭重腳輕。只要把這幾個詞連在一起朗讀一下就可體會出來。

我們因此明白,春天是該鑲嵌在窗子裏看的,好比畫配了框子。

It seems that spring was always meant to be put behind a windowpane for show, just like a picture in a frame

“我們因此明白”譯成It seems……,因爲這是一種比喻的說法,直譯成英文會給人以突兀的感覺,所以用“似乎如此”的說法。be meant to be的意思是“原本爲……”,加了always等於從語氣上與原文更相符合,並沒有特別具體的含義。中文說“窗子裏”,而英文卻不能說in a windowpane,windowpane指的是窗子上的玻璃,這就是用behind的原因。

同時,我們悟到,門和窗有不同的意義

At the same time it also becomes clear that the door has a different significance from the window

悟到和上一句中的“明白”是相同的意思,it become clear that 這一說法比it seems that 要肯定一些。

當然,門是造了讓人出進的

Of course, doors were made for people to pass through

出進可以譯成to come out and go in,但譯成to pass through就顯得句子緊湊、精煉一些。

但是,窗子有時也可作爲進出口用

but a window can also sometimes serve as an entrance or as an exit

entrance和exit這兩個詞比door和window抽象化了,充分表明了“進出口”的字面意思和含義。

譬如小偷或小說裏私約的情人就喜歡爬窗子

and is used as such by thieves and by lovers in novels

譯文用了by thieves and by lovers,而不說by thieves and lovers,因爲這本來就是兩類人,不能放在一起混爲一談。

所以窗子和門的根本分別,決不僅是有沒有人進來出去

In fact the fundamental difference between a door and a window has nothing to do with them being either entrances or exits

比較一下different between和前文的different (from):說兩者之間的區別,用different between A and B;而說A怎樣不同於B則說 A is different from B.

若據賞春一事來看,我們不妨這樣說

When it comes to the admiration of spring, it could be put this way

When it comes to是比較中庸的說法,不那麼正式,但也不那麼隨意,意思是“說起賞春……”,讓人們對下文有一個期待。

有了門,我們可以出去

a door makes it possible for one to go out

“有了門”不能譯成with a/the door,因爲這裏不是說有還是沒有,而是有門存在,人們就可以進出房屋。

有了窗,我們可以不必出去

whereas a window makes it possible for one not to have to

Whereas而……。這是一個連接詞,表示一種前後的比較或對照。這裏的句型和上面是一樣的,但是後面的not to have to 是不定式的否定形式,後面省略了go out.

窗子打通了大自然和人的隔膜。

A window helps to pull down the partition between man and nature

“由於有了窗子,人和大自然之間的隔膜才得以打破”,窗子起的是一種促進作用,其本身並不能去“打破”什麼,因此用了helps to pull down. partition隔離牆。“隔膜”是解剖學詞彙,這裏用的是其引申意義,不能按字面譯成diaphragm,那樣意思就不對了。man and nature:man是指整個人類,所以不用任何冠詞;nature則是不可數名詞。

把風和太陽逗引進來,使屋子裏也關着一部分春天

It leads breezes and sunlight in, and keeps part of the spring in the house

Lead:引導,引領。keep……in the house:使停留在屋裏不能外出。

讓我們安坐了享受,無需再到外面去找。

It allows one to sit and enjoy the spring in peace, and makes it unnecessary to go looking for it outside

原文是說“安坐”,而實際上“安”的意思也應當能涵蓋“享受”,只是從詞的節奏上感覺“安坐”和“享受”都是兩個字的詞,似乎是並列的。譯文裏譯成了 sit……in peace,等於將狀語移了一個位。注意這句中幾個it的含義,第一個it指代window,第二個it是形式賓語,引出後面的to go……,第三個it是指代the spring.