主動求愛 Initiative in Courtship

People regard it as a matter of normality if a man takes the initiative in courtship, but if a woman does that, she is asking for trouble.

如果一個男人主動求愛，人們會把它當成一種常態，但如果是一個女人主動求愛，那她就是自找麻煩。

Traditionally, Chinese women should be stereotypically quiet, patient, and reserved, and to a large extent they were accessories to men. They didn’t have the right to pursue their own true love and were always waiting for men’s actions. With the improvement of women’s status and their newly¬--gained independence, it seems that this attitude should have disappeared nowadays, however, it still exists today.

傳統上,中國女性應該安靜、耐心和有所保留的並在很大程度上他們是男性附屬品。他們沒有權利去追求自己的真愛，總是在等待男人的行爲。隨着婦女地位的提高和他們的新獲得的獨立，這種態度似乎應該要消失了，但是，今天仍然存在。

There are evidences that amorous initiative is firmly reserved to men, and modern women, although not so subordinate as traditional women, are still in a passive position. It is because that the ambience of society doesn't encourage women to take actions, that men still to some extent hold traditional attitude towards women, and that women themselves also accept the unwritten roles.

有證據顯示戀愛中的主動權都是爲男性保留的，現代女性，雖然不像傳統女性那樣，但是仍然處於被動地位。這是因爲社會環境並不鼓勵婦女採取行動，而男性在某種程度上對於女性還是保持傳統觀念，女性自己也接受了這個不成文的角色。

When referring to the issue of courtship, most of my male friends, though being college students, insist that initiative should be reserved to boys and girls should never be too positive, otherwise, it will scare away boys, that is, it is not suitable or reasonable for a girl to chase her affectionate boy. They even assume that even if a girl is cute enough to achieve her goal, she will not be really happy later on, because the boy will not cherish the love that isn't pursued by himself. So this initiative is boys’ privilege while girls even don’t have the freedom of pursuing.

在戀愛中談及到這個問題時，雖然我大部分的男性朋友都是大學生，卻堅持認爲應該是男孩主動，因爲女孩永遠都不會太積極的，否則，她會把男孩嚇跑的，也就是說，讓一個女孩追球她鍾情的男孩是不合適的或着說是不合理的。他們甚至認爲即使一個女孩足夠可愛來實現她的目標，到後面她也不會真的快樂。因爲那個男孩不會珍惜不是自己追求來的愛。所以主動是男孩的特權，而女孩子甚至沒有追求的自由。

It is said that women hold up half the sky. However, this half sky is shaded with some black clouds, not really cleared up. Hopefully, we can see some light going through the black clouds, shining out over the world.

都說女人能撐起半邊天。然而，這半邊天空是黑色的雲的陰影，不是真的消失了。希望，我們可以通過黑色的雲看到一些光，照耀了世界。

One of my friends ever told me a story, which overturns this stereotype, about a brave young lady who had fallen in love with a boy, decided that she would take actions to show her attractions to him, not just waiting for nothing. With her love and perseverance, though there being so much external and internal pressure, she eventually succeeded in attracting the boy and became a heroine and a good example of the other girls who also saw the promising land from her.

我一個朋友曾經告訴過我一個故事。它顛覆了這一觀念。故事是關於一個勇敢的年輕女孩愛上一個男孩，並決定向男孩示愛，而不是乾等。因爲她的愛和堅持，儘管有很多的內部和外部壓力，她最終還是成功的追到了那個男孩，成爲一個英雄，一個很好的例子，讓別的女孩從她身上看到了希望。

Hopefully, there will be many courageous women who try to break up the roles and the stereotypes to pursue their own happiness, making themselves the heroines.

希望將會有許多勇敢的婦女試圖打破那種一成不變的角色去追求自己的幸福，讓自己成爲女英雄。