《美食祈禱和戀愛》Chapter 27 (54):那不勒斯的披薩大綱

The people here are so insanely psyched to be from Naples, and why shouldn't they be? This is a city that gave the world pizza and ice cream. The Neapolitan women in particular are such a gang of tough-voiced, loud-mouthed, generous, nosy dames, all bossy and annoyed and right up in your face and just trying to friggin' help you for chrissake, you dope—why they gotta do everything around here? The accent in Naples is like a friendly cuff on the ear. It's like walking through a city of short-order cooks, everybody hollering at the same time. They still have their own dialect here, and an ever-changing liquid dictionary of local slang, but somehow I find that the Neapolitans are the easiest people for me to understand in Italy. Why? Because they want you to understand, damn it. They talk loud and emphatically, and if you can't understand what they're actually saying out of their mouths, you can usually pick up the inference from the gesture. Like that punk little grammar-school girl on the back of her older cousin's motorbike, who flipped me the finger and a charming smile as she drove by, just to make me understand, "Hey, no hard feelings, lady. But I'm only seven, and I can already tell you're a complete moron, but that's cool—I think you're halfway OK despite yourself and I kinda like your dumb-ass face. We both know you would love to be me, but sorry—you can't. Anyhow, here's my middle finger, enjoy your stay in Naples, and ciao!"

這裏的人對自己的那不勒斯出身大感興奮，這也難怪。這城市把比薩餅和冰淇淋給了全世界。那不勒斯的女人尤其是一羣粗聲粗氣、滿嘴粗話、落落大方、好管閒事的女士，一副專橫、氣惱的架子，看在上帝的面子上，拼命要幫你這白癡的忙。那不勒斯口音就像友善的耳銬。就像走在快餐廚子的城市中，大家在同一時刻大喊大叫。他們這兒仍有自己的方言，還有千變萬化的當地俚語，但不知怎麼的，我發現那不勒斯人對我而言是我在意大利最容易瞭解的人。原因爲何？因爲他們就是他媽的要你瞭解！他們說話大聲，語氣強烈，假使不瞭解他們嘴裏講出來的話，通常也能從他們的手勢推斷三分。比方那名坐在表哥摩托車後座的文法學校龐克小姑娘，從我身邊呼嘯而過的時候，朝我比手指，露出迷人的笑容，只爲了讓我明瞭：“別埋怨吧，女士。我才七歲呢，但我已經可以告訴你，你是大傻瓜，不過這很酷——我想你還算可以，我也還算喜歡你的土包子臉。我們倆都知道你很想換作我，可是抱歉——你沒有辦法。反正，瞧瞧我的中指吧，希望你在那不勒斯玩得愉快，再會啦！”

As in every public space in Italy, there are always boys, teenagers and grown men playing soccer, but here in Naples there's something extra, too. For instance, today I found kids—I mean, a group of eight-year-old boys—who had gathered up some old chicken crates to create makeshift chairs and a table, and they were playing poker in the piazza with such intensity I feared one of them might get shot.

就像在意大利所有的公共場所，始終看得見男孩、青少年、成年男子踢足球，而那不勒斯卻還有另外的娛樂。比方今天我看見孩子們——我是說，一羣八歲男孩——收集幾個舊雞籠，充當桌椅，在廣場上玩撲克牌，其專注程度使我害怕他們有人會中彈身亡。

Giovanni and Dario, my Tandem Exchange twins, are originally from Naples. I cannot picture it. I cannot imagine shy, studious, sympathetic Giovanni as a young boy amongst this—and I don't use the word lightly—mob. But he is Neapolitan, no question about it, because before I left Rome he gave me the name of a pizzeria in Naples that I had to try, because, Giovanni informed me, it sold the best pizza in Naples. I found this a wildly exciting prospect, given that the best pizza in Italy is from Naples, and the best pizza in the world is from Italy, which means that this pizzeria must offer . . . I'm almost too superstitious to say it . . . the best pizza in the world? Giovanni passed along the name of the place with such seriousness and intensity, I almost felt I was being inducted into a secret society. He pressed the address into the palm of my hand and said, in gravest confidence, "Please go to this pizzeria. Order the margherita pizza with double mozzarella. If you do not eat this pizza when you are in Naples, please lie to me later and tell me that you did."

我的串連交流雙胞胎喬凡尼和達里奧出身於那不勒斯。這完全無法想象。我無法想象害羞、勤奮、和善的喬凡尼，在少年時代屬於這個——我用這詞兒可一點也不誇張——匪幫。但他確實是那不勒斯人，因爲在我離開羅馬前，他給了我那不勒斯一家比薩餅店的名字，要我非去嚐嚐不可。喬凡尼告知我，因爲這家店賣的比薩餅在那不勒斯無出其右。這使我十二萬分期待，鑑於意大利最好的比薩餅來自那不勒斯，而全世界最好的比薩餅來自意大利，這意味着這家比薩餅店肯定提供……我幾乎迷信得說不出來……“全世界最好的比薩餅？”喬凡尼遞店名給我時，態度嚴肅熱烈，我幾乎覺得自己正闖進一個祕密會社。他把住址塞入我手中，悄悄地說：“請去這家比薩餅店。點瑪格麗特比薩加雙份起司。如果你去那不勒斯沒吃這種比薩，請騙我說你去吃了。”

So Sofie and I have come to Pizzeria da Michele, and these pies we have just ordered—one for each of us—are making us lose our minds. I love my pizza so much, in fact, that I have come to believe in my delirium that my pizza might actually love me, in return. I am having a relationship with this pizza, almost an affair. Meanwhile, Sofie is practically in tears over hers, she's having a metaphysical crisis about it, she's begging me, "Why do they even bother trying to make pizza in Stockholm? Why do we even bother eating food at all in Stockholm?"

於是蘇菲和我來到米凱爾比薩店（Pizzeria da）我們剛剛點的一人一份的餅，使我們爲之瘋狂。事實上，我對這份比薩餅的愛使我熱昏了頭，我相信我的比薩餅也回敬了我的愛。我和這份比薩建立了關係，幾乎是一場戀情。同時，蘇菲簡直吃得“涕泗縱橫”，發生某種形而上的危機，她頻頻向我探問“斯德哥爾摩幹嘛還費心做比薩？我們在斯德哥爾摩幹嘛費心吃東西？”