經典科幻文學:《基本上無害 Mostly Harmless》 第18章12

‘Because if you’ve got the Guide you think that you are the one it’s working for. Everything went swimmingly smoothly for me from then on, up to the very moment that I come up against the totty with the rock, then, bang, I’m history. I’m out of the loop.’

“因爲如果你得到了《指南》，你會以爲它在爲你工作，從那時候起一切都滑稽得難以置信，直到我遇上了那個拿石頭的小屁孩，然後，砰，我玩完了，什麼都沒我的份了。”

‘Are you referring to my daughter?’

“你指的是我女兒嗎？”

‘As politely as I can. She’s the next one in the chain who will think that everything is going fabulously for her. She can beat whoever she likes around the head with bits of the landscape, everything will just swim for her until she’s done whatever she’s supposed to do and then it will be all up for her too. It’s reverse temporal engineering, and clearly nobody understood what was being unleashed!’

“並且用的是儘可能禮貌的語言。她會是鏈條上的下一環，會以爲一切都妙不可言。她可以拿着一小塊地面愛砸誰的腦袋就砸誰的腦袋，直到她幹完了那東西需要的事兒然後她也就玩完了。這就是短期反向操控，而且顯然沒人明白我們放出來個什麼東西！”

‘Like me for instance.’

“比如說我。”

‘What? Oh, wake up, Arthur. Look, let me try it again. The new Guide came out of the research labs. It made use of this new technology of Unfiltered Perception. Do you know what that means?’

“什麼？哦，醒醒吧，阿瑟。聽着，讓我再試一次。新《指南》是從研究室出來的，用了新技術，無過濾感知。你知道這是什麼意思嗎？”

‘Look, I’ve been making sandwiches for Bob’s sake!’

“聽着，我一直在做三明治看在鮑伯的份上！”

‘Who’s Bob?’

“鮑伯是誰？”

‘Never mind. Just carry on.’

“算了，你繼續說。”

‘Unfiltered Perception means it perceives everything. Got that? I don’t perceive everything. You don’t perceive everything. We have filters. The new Guide doesn’t have any sense filters. It perceives everything. It wasn’t a complicated technological idea. It was just a question of leaving a bit out. Got it?’

“無過濾感知就意味着它能感知一切，明白了？我不能感知一切，你也不能感知一切，我們都要過濾掉一些東西，新《指南》卻沒有任何感知過濾器。它感知一切。從技術上講倒不是很複雜，問題只在於是省去某些部分，明白？”

‘Why don’t I just say that I’ve got it, and then you can carry on regardless.’

“我幹嘛不乾脆告訴你我明白了，然後你就可以管他三七二十一繼續講下去。”

‘Right. Now because the bird can perceive every possible Universe, it is present in every possible universe. Yes?’

“好，所以說，因爲那隻鳥可以感知所有可能的宇宙，於是它就出現在了每一個宇宙裏。對吧？”

‘Y… e… e… s. Ish.’

“沒-沒-沒-錯。好像。”

‘So what happens is, the bozos in the marketing and accounting departments say, oh that sounds good, doesn’t that mean we only have to make one of them and then sell it an infinite number of times? Don’t squint at me like that, Arthur, this is how accountants think!’

“於是，市場和會計部的傻帽就說，哦聽起來棒極了，不是嗎，這麼一來我們不就可以做一本《指南》然後賣上個無數次？別那樣眯着眼睛看我，阿瑟，我說的是會計的想法！”

‘That’s quite clever, isn’t it?’

“挺聰明的，不是嗎？”