奧斯卡:史上最刻薄頒獎典禮

When The Onion tweeted inadvisedly about Quvenzhané Wallis shortly after the Oscars ended last night, Twitter exploded in outrage. An hour later and the tweet was removed. But the tweet about the nine-year-old nominee seemed to fit right in to an evening that had been both vicious and sexist in its attempts at humor.

昨晚的奧斯卡頒獎典禮剛落幕，洋蔥新聞網發表了一條有關奎文贊妮·瓦利斯的欠考慮的微博，即刻在推特網上引起軒然大波。一小時後這條微博被刪除了。但這條調侃年僅九歲的奧斯卡提名者的微博似乎與這場爲營造喜劇氛圍而充滿惡意和性別歧視的奧斯卡之夜正相匹配。

Host Seth Macfarlane began the unfunny references to Wallis as he introduced her to the audience in the early pArt of the show. "It'll be 16 years before she's too old for Clooney," he said. Did anyone laugh?

主持人塞思?麥克法蘭在節目初始向觀衆介紹瓦利斯時就開始了並不風趣的言辭。他說道：“16年後，她對於克魯尼來說就太老了。”臺下有人笑了嗎？

There was a mean-spirited quality to Macfarlane's Oscars that went beyond the usual awkward imbalance of celebrating and embarrassing a self-indulgent industry in the same show. When did awards shows become such clumsyroasts? And could someone funny PLEASE start writing the jokes?

麥克法蘭主持的這屆奧斯卡頒獎典禮帶有一種刻薄的意味，這比往屆的奧斯卡秀有過之而無不及。往屆頒獎典禮經常陷於既慶祝又嘲諷這個自我放縱的行業的尷尬境地。頒獎禮什麼時候開始變成了一場笨拙的嘲諷晚會了？拜託編劇能寫一些更有趣的笑話嗎？

As the lights came up over the Dolby Theater at the beginning of the evening, the audience could be seen beaming and clapping. Except for one. Dressed, like Hamlet entirely in black, Robert Downey Jr, kept his arms folded tightly across his chest and nodded his head tersely. He clearly knew what to expect.

當晚隨着燈光開始照亮整個杜比劇場，觀衆都在微笑鼓掌。除了全身黑色、穿得像哈姆雷特的小羅伯特?唐尼。他雙臂緊緊地交叉放在胸前，短促地點點頭。顯然，他知道將發生什麼。

The nastiness started with a cheap shot at last year's winner for best actor, the Frenchman, Jean Dujardin, who had won for The Artist.

令人噁心的地方從對演員讓?杜雅爾丹的惡意中傷開始。這位來自法國的男演員憑藉《藝術家》獲得去年奧斯卡最佳男演員獎項。

Thank God for the singing. Well, some of the singing. Certainly not the Macfarlane rendition of "We Saw your Boobs" which seemed to have been put together by a bunch of seventh grade boys – the demographic that ABC is longing to snare. (The best reaction to this song was Zero Dark Thirty Director Kathryn Bigelow's unchanging stone face. Minute 8.50).

感謝那些歌曲。當然，是感謝某些歌曲。麥克法蘭的那首《我們看過你的咪咪》顯然不在其中。這首歌像是一幫七年級的男生（美國廣播公司極想吸引的聽衆羣）寫出來的。（對待這首歌最好的迴應是《獵殺本·拉登》的導演凱瑟琳?畢格羅8分50秒時給的石頭臉。）

Macfarlane had a go at her movie later, when he dropped a thud of a joke on Zero Dark Thirty. It's "a celebration of every woman's innate inability to never, ever let anything go," he said about the hunt for Osama bin Laden.

之後麥克法蘭也評價了她的電影，並對《獵殺本·拉登》這部電影說了點玩笑話。他把獵殺本·拉登形容爲：“慶祝每個女人天生就永遠不會讓事情過去”。

Shirley Bassey, Adele, Barbara Streisand, Jennifer Hudson and Norah Jones saved the evening and finally made the entertainment entertaining. You could sense the relief as the audience gave the singers rapturous applause. Lengthy standing ovations rewarded not just great performances (Bassey, Hudson and Streisand) but a break from the endless badly written snark.

雪莉·貝西、阿黛爾、芭芭拉?史翠珊、詹妮弗?哈德森以及諾拉?瓊斯的表演拯救了這個夜晚，讓這場娛樂盛會終於變得歡樂起來。我們能感受到觀衆在致以歌手們熱烈的掌聲時終於鬆了口氣。現場觀衆長時間的起立歡呼不只是對（貝西、哈德森和史翠珊等人）傑出表演的衷心祝賀，更是對從冗長的糟糕節目中解脫出來的如釋重負。

No question of that happening. But at least the night came to a fitting end. After Michelle Obama raised the tone of the broadcast by announcing the best picture award for Argo from the White House, MacFarlane was forced to stand on stage and sing The Loser Song. Finally a joke that worked.

發生這種事不是沒可能。至少晚會還算有個恰當的結尾。在來自白宮的一段視頻裏，米歇爾·奧巴馬提高音調宣佈本屆奧斯卡最佳影片獎是《逃離德黑蘭》。之後，麥克法蘭被迫在舞臺上演唱《失敗者之歌》。終於，有一個笑話算是起作用了。