如何在孩子們失控的情況下保持鎮定大綱

Tantrums are the worst, am I right?

發脾氣是最糟糕的事了，對嗎？

I've been parenting for over four years now and I still don't really know how to react to them most of the time. Seriously, right now my go-to responses to my toddler losing her shit is either joining her in the theatrics, stomping around or raising my voice, or completely freezing up and giving in to whatever it is she wants just to make it stop.

至今爲止，我已當了4年的家長，但大多數時間裏我還是不知道該如何對他們做出反應。說真的，我的孩子剛學會走路，現在只要她失控，我的反應要麼就是和她一起演戲，到處跺腳、要麼就是提高嗓門或者就是完全不理她，她想要什麼就妥協，只要她不再大叫。

Are you taking notes? Because I've obviously got this parenting thing mastered.

你在記筆記嗎？因爲很顯然我對於養孩子這件事很有把握。

Seriously though, it is becoming pretty obvious this time around that the old tricks I used with my first isn't going to work with my 2-year-old. I need some new strategies if she and I are going to get past this phase with our dignities intact. I've done my fair share of Googling and consulting parenting books lately, but nothing has really felt like the right fit for our home. Then I read about parents using mindfulness to keep from losing their temper and decided I was just desperate enough to give it a try.

但說真的，剛開始的時候我有一些哄小孩的招數，但現在這些招數對我們家兩歲的孩子來說已經不管用了，這一點越來越爲明顯。如果我們想要完好無損的度過這一階段我就得想想新的法子。我已經谷歌過，最近也看了與育兒相關的書籍，但總感覺找不到適合我們家情況的妙招。之後我讀到了一本書，講的是父母要留意自己不亂髮脾氣，當時我已經很絕望了，於是決定放手一搏。

The idea behind mindfulness is when you become more aware of how you are feeling and how those emotions are presenting themselves in your body, you can slow down and find a healthy way to respond to those emotions. In general, getting angry with a toddler who is out of control isn't unhealthy, it's pretty normal, but when you lose control too, that's when your anger becomes a problem.

留神這一概念就是說你越是瞭解自己的感受以及這些情感是如何表現在體內，你就越能放緩下來，找到健康的方式去應對這些情感。總的來說，與一個失控的小孩子生氣是不健康的，這很正常，但當你也失控的時候，你的憤怒就成了個問題。

"Moms need a variety of emotional tools to help themselves with their toddlers," encouraged Dr. Celia Trotta, board-certified psychiatrist and advocate for gentle parenting practices. She offered simple steps to using meditation to control yourself during the heat of a major toddler tantrum.

“母親們需要各種各樣的情感工具來幫助自己面對自己的小孩，”西莉亞·特洛塔醫生鼓勵道，她是通過認證的精神病專家，提倡用溫和的方式撫養孩子。她建議了一些簡單的步驟，可以在孩子失控時通過冥想來控制自己。

First, she suggested parents take a moment to become aware of their emotional state. This means taking note of and naming your feelings, whether that be anger, sadness or frustration and paying close attention to how those emotions display themselves in your body. Are you clenching your fists or is your heart racing?

首先，她建議父母們花點時間瞭解自己的情感狀態。這就是說要記錄下、說出自己的感受，不管是憤怒、悲傷或沮喪，然後密切關注這些情感是如何在通過身體表現出來的。你是不是在緊握拳頭呢？你的心臟是不是劇烈跳動呢？