上班族父母如何關愛寶寶大綱

Sarah, a 36-year-old solicitor, was shocked when her three-year-old daughter called out her nanny’s name during the night. “You think: ‘My child loves the nanny more than me.’”

當36歲的律師莎拉(Sarah)夜裏聽到3歲的女兒喊保姆的名字時，她震驚了。“你心想：‘我的孩子愛保姆勝過愛我。’”

On the other hand, the overwhelming anxiety Sarah felt when her daughter was ill left her relieved to hand over responsibility. She soon realised that she was never going to love caring for her children round the clock. She explains: “I wouldn’t say that I looked forward to going back to work, but I looked forward to having an activity that involved being away from them.”

但另一方面，女兒生病時莎拉感到的極度焦慮，讓她如釋重負地交出責任。她很快意識到，自己永遠不會喜歡全天候照顧自己的小孩。她解釋說：“我不會說我期待回去上班，但我確實期待有什麼事能讓我離開他們。”

Sarah hoped that by providing her with affection and a routine, her daughter would not suffer the sense of “I don’t matter” that she says her own mother had instilled in her.

莎拉說，當年她的母親給她灌輸了一種“我不重要”的感覺，她希望通過提供關愛和有規律的日常生活，她的女兒不會受這種感覺的折磨。

According to psychotherapists, Sarah was right to be concerned about unintentionally repeating a pattern of neglectful parenting. Infants and young children need sensitive care from adults — a process called “attachment”.

據心理治療師表示，薩拉正確地擔心自己在無意中重複忽視型育兒模式。嬰兒和幼兒需要成年人悉心呵護，這一過程被稱爲“依戀”。

This accepted theory in psychology, neuroscience and biochemistry explains how early interaction between a parent and infant has lasting consequences for a child’s emotional wellbeing.

這一理論已獲得心理學、神經科學和生物化學的認可，它解釋了父母與嬰兒之間的早期互動對孩子的情緒健康有持久後果。

The first few years of a life are crucial in shaping and developing a child’s “social brain”, where emotional resources are established. Having adults around who can attune to an infant’s feelings and experiences provides the basis for regulating feelings, relating to others and coping with stress.

人生的最初幾年對塑造和發展兒童的“社會腦”(social brain)——情感資源建立於此——至關重要。一個嬰兒身邊若能有關懷其感受和體驗的成年人陪伴，將爲孩子學習調節情緒、與人交往和應對壓力提供基礎。

Children can become aggressive, shy or clingy if their early attachment needs are not met. In extreme cases, inadequate early care can lead to antisocial behaviour, addictions and personality disorders.

如果早期依戀需求得不到滿足，孩子們可能會變得好鬥、害羞或粘人。在極端情況下，不充足的早期照顧可能導致反社會行爲、上癮，以及人格障礙。

Employers could do more to support working parents. Sarah, the solicitor, believes many managers pay only lip service to flexible working policies. “They’ll let you go to the school play, but secretly they’ll always remember that you missed that meeting,” she says.

僱主可以採取更多行動支持上班族父母。律師莎拉認爲，許多管理人員對彈性工作政策只是說說而已。她說：“他們會讓你去觀看校園表演，但私底下他們對你錯過了那次會議耿耿於懷。”