什麼情況要拒絕？如何拒絕？

學會拒絕別人，是你能爲自己做的做好的事之一，但是，許多人都覺得這非常難。爲什麼呢？因爲大家都想被他人所喜歡。諷刺的是，如果你能在適當的時候拒絕別人，人們纔會更加喜歡你，尊重你。

Why Say No

拒絕別人的原因

1. People will respect you. People who say yes to everything in an attempt to be liked are quickly recognized as pushovers.

人們會尊重你。人們之所以言聽計從，是力圖被別人喜歡，但很快就會被認爲是容易搞定的人。

When you say no to someone you are letting them know that you have boundaries. You are showing that you respect yourself--and that is how you gain respect from others.當

你拒絕他人的時候，你是在告訴他們，你也有底線。你是在展示對自己的尊重——這就是你贏得他人尊重的原因。

2. People will actually see you as more dependable. When you say yes only when you have the time and true ability to do a great job, then you'll gain a reputation for being you say yes to everything, you're bound to do a bad job at everything.

人們會覺得你很可靠。當你只有在有時間和能力做好的時候才答應別人，你就能爲自己贏來可靠的名聲。如果你對什麼都是言聽計從，你一定什麼都做不好。

3. When you're selective with your tasks, you'll sharpen your natural strengths. If you concentrate on the things you're good at, you'll be able to improve on your natural talents. For example, if you're a great writer but you're not so great as an artist, you may volunteer to write speeches but you shouldn't sign up to make the posters for your club. Concentrate on your strength and build your skills (and your experience) for college.

當你有選擇性地對待你的任務，你就可以提高自己的天然優勢。如果你將注意力集中在你所擅長的事情上，你就可以改善自己的天賦。例如，如果你是一個出色的作家，但你在藝術方面則沒有什麼天賦，你可能就會自發地歇一歇演講稿，但你卻不會簽約去爲你的俱樂部製作海報。將注意力集中在你的長處上，鍛鍊自己在大學的技術（和經驗）。

4. Your life will be less stressful. You may be tempted to say yes to people in order to please them. In the long run, you're only hurting yourself and others when you do this. You stress yourself out by overloading yourself, and you experience increased stress when you realize you're bound to let them down.

你的生活也會少些壓力。你可能爲了取悅一些人而答應他們某些事。從長遠看，當你這樣做的時候，你只是在傷害你自己和他人。你使自己超載，從而不堪重負，當你意識到你一定會讓別人失望的時候，你的壓力也會也會與之劇增。

When to Say No

什麼時候應該拒絕別人

First let's point out the obvious: do your homework.

首先指出顯而易見的：

You should never say no to a teacher, friend, or family member who is merely asking you to live up to your responsibilities. It's not okay to say no to a class assignment, just because you don't feel like doing it for some reason. This is not an exercise in cockiness.

你不應該拒絕你的老師，朋友或家人，因爲他們僅僅是在告訴你，不要辜負自己的責任。你不應該因爲一些原因不想做就拒絕做家庭作業。這可不是在考驗你的驕傲自大。

It is OK to say no when somebody is asking you to step outside your true responsibilities and outside your comfort zone to take on a task that is dangerous or one that will overload you and affect your academic work and your reputation.

當某人想讓你做職責範圍或舒適區以外的危險的事，或者是增加你的負擔和影響你的學業和名譽的事，你就應該拒絕別人。

For example:

例如

•If a teacher suggests that you become the president of a club that he or she is advising, but your schedule is already over-packed.

若如果老師推薦了一個俱樂部，建議你擔任俱樂部主席，但是你的日程表已經排滿了。

•If a popular athlete asks you to help with his/her homework and you don't have time.

如果一個有人氣的運動員拜託你幫他寫作業，但你沒時間。

•If anybody asks you to do their homework for them.

如果有人讓你幫他們做作業。

•If anybody asks you to give them information that was on a test (if they have a later class with the same teacher).

如果有人讓你給他們提供有關考試的信息（如果他們跟你是一個老師，只不過是後進來的）。

It can be very difficult to say no to somebody whom you really respect, but you'll find that you actually gain respect from them when you show enough courage to say no.

拒絕你所尊重的人會很難，但你會發現，當你表現出足夠的勇氣來拒絕他們的時候，你實際上也得到了尊重。

How to Say No

怎樣拒絕別人

We say yes to people because it's easy. Learning to say no is like learning anything: it seems really scary at first, but it's so rewarding when you get the hang of it!

我們答應別人某事很簡單。學會拒絕就像學習其他任何事一樣：一開始似乎很可怕，但當你學會之後，對你就十分有益。

The trick to saying no is doing it firmly without sounding rude. You must avoid being wishy-washy. Here are some lines you can practice:

拒絕別人的竅門就是，堅定地去做，但不要使自己聽上去很粗魯。你必須避免蒼白無力的拒絕。這裏有一些拒絕的話語可供你練習。

•If a teacher asks you to take on more responsibility than you need: Thank you for thinking of me, but I will have to say no. I'm just over-scheduled at this time.

如果老師想讓你做你職責範圍之外的事：謝謝您能想到我，但我還是得拒絕。這次我的日程表都排滿了。

•If a teacher asks you to do something you don't feel comfortable with: This sounds like it would be a great opportunity for somebody, but it's not right for me.

如果老師讓你做一些會讓你不舒服的事：這對於別人來說真是一個好機會，但對我來說不是。

•If somebody wants you to cheat: Sorry, I don't share my homework. That would get us both in trouble.

如果某人想讓你作弊：抱歉，我不想和別人分享自己的家庭作業。這會給我們兩人都帶來麻煩的。

•If somebody tries to push work off on you: I just don't have the time to do a good job at that right now.

如果某人把工作推給你：我現在沒時間去做好這項工作。

•If somebody tries to overload you with a task: I can't do that because I have an assignment due tomorrow.

如果某人想給你增加工作量：我不行，因爲手頭有工作要做，明天就是截止日期了。

•If somebody tries to unload a problem on you: I understand your situation, but I don't have an answer for you.

如果某人想把麻煩甩給你：我明白你的處境，但我不會答應你的。

When You Have to Say Yes

什麼時候可以答應別人的請求

There will be times when you want to say no but you can’t. If you're working on a group project, you have to take on some of the work, but you don't want to volunteer for everything. When you have to say yes, you can do it with firm conditions.

總會有一些時候，你想拒絕但又不能拒絕。如果你在做團體任務，你就得承擔一些工作，但你不會想承擔所有的工作。當你只能答應別人時，你就得堅定地去做。

A conditional "yes" may be necessary if you know you should do something but you also know you don't have all the time or resources. An example of a conditional yes is: "Yes, I'll make the posters for the club, but I won't pay for all the supplies."

如果你知道，你應該做一些事，但你的時間和資源也是有限的，這時候有條件的答應別人是必要的。關於有條件的答應有一個例子：“是，我可以爲俱樂部製作海報，但我不會包攬所有的事兒。”

Saying no is all about gaining respect. Gain respect for yourself by saying no when it's necessary. Gain the respect of others by saying no in a polite way.

拒絕能讓你獲得尊重。必要的時候，你要通過拒絕別人來爲自己獲得尊重。在通過拒絕別人獲得尊重的時候，還要以禮貌的方式進行。

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